The Butterfly
by Neko Kate-chan
Summary: Gift fic for Lunajl. The most beautiful butterflies roam wild and free... [AU]
1. Chapter 1

To: "Lunajl"

From: "Neko Kate-Chan"

Requirements: _Yami no Matsuei, TsuzukixHisoka, No Set Length, angst_

Author's Touches: _R rated, MurakixTsuzuki (one way), 7 chapters, slavery, fluff, AU, TatsumixWatari_

Author's Notes: _I have only written one chapter of this, the other six will be with you ASAP. Seeing as I had so many entries, I had to concentrate on getting the first chapters of everyone's fictions out. I will be updating ASAP. Right, the person whose fic this belongs to hasn't even emailed me to receive it so I'm putting it up without her permission._

Synopsis: _Hisoka Kurosaki, the favourite toy of the Warlord Muraki, never dreamed that he would one day get away from the man's evil clutches. That is until he is given as a gift to a nearby lord whom Muraki is trying to impress. Once inside Tsuzuki's court at Onimidori, things begin to change for Hisoka as he learns that not everyone looks at him as a prize._

_The most beautiful butterflies fly wild and free…_

Guide to Japanese words:

'_-domo' means Lord_

'_-sama' indicates of high rank/godlike status/high priest/omnyouji_

'_gaijin' means outsider, someone not from the country_

'_nekojita' indicates someone who can't eat hot foods_

The Butterfly

An Ill-Thought Gift

The butterfly was beautiful. Its delicate wings fluttered as it landed on the nettle, balancing carefully as it stilled, sunning its wonderfully colorful wings.

The boys crept up. For a while they were content to admire the brilliant green of the butterfly's majestic wings. Then the desire to possess took hold.

Clumsy fingers trapped the butterfly, accidentally injuring it, bruising its fragile beauty. It tried to escape but only managed to damage its magical wings further. The boys, disgusted at its crumpled form, dropped it, leaving it to die, flightless and alone, its beauty diminished.

A dragonfly appeared, its beautiful elongated body, not quite blue, not quite purple, shimmered in the light as its long translucent wings steadied its balance on the ground. It crawled forward, watching the dying butterfly as its life began to fade…

X

Tsuzuki Asato is a famous sorcerer. Even I know that. He's known for his triumphant battle against the Necromancer Onizuka, and of course, for being half demon. Few have ever gone to war against him and lived to tell the tale.

There are many things known about Lord Tsuzuki but not many have heard of his mercy, or his kindness, or his compassion, or his cheer. They do not watch as he is wracked by guilt, and he retreats Within himself for days on end, to a place where no one can hurt him. It must be a demon thing most lords have no problem hurting anyone. At least, _my_ lord has no qualms about it.

I don't remember being anywhere but in Lord Muraki's harem. Well, not much really. I should really say, I don't remember much from before I came into the Muraki household. I've been working at the palace for ten years, ever since I was six years old and my parents sold me. They didn't need the money, they just didn't want me. They called me a demon, and I guess, looking back, that's what the empathy must have seemed like to them. I could use my power to manipulate them, but I never did (not that it did me any good). The golden rule of empathy is that you never use it to manipulate things for your own benefit.

When I joined Muraki's household, I was taught by some of the others with small magical gifts how to control my gift, how to build up walls so strong that when Muraki entered the room I didn't have to duck out before I was overwhelmed by the darkness of his soul.

So, anyhow, six years old is a little too young for a harem boy even by Muraki's standards, so I worked in the kitchens for about five years. At the age of eleven Muraki sent for me and I became his manservant. For a short period that's all I was, making sure he ate his meals, preparing his clothes, making sure everything was exactly where he wanted it. Easy job…

I was thirteen when Muraki first… first… Well… _used_ me in that way. It's been three long years since then. I don't think I even realized how many sexual perversions existed, but it seems like I've mastered them all. I think I might be my master's favourite 'doll', as he calls his whores. I guess it's because I'm still a challenge… I still try to defy him sometimes, and I never let him think he's won… Not even when it's quite obvious I've lost complete control of the situation…

Yeah, I'm the only one who still fights back. I'm the only one who still hates him.

Oriya, who looks after the harem, often is jealous of me. I rarely spend the night in my own bed. I can tell he wants Muraki No, that's wrong, he loves Muraki. Muraki just doesn't know what love is.

But recently I've noticed that Muraki's heart has been left with someone. No, again, that's over-stating the situation a little. Muraki is obsessed with someone, and he's convinced himself that it's love. He's obsessed with someone with large violet eyes.

How do I know this?

Muraki draws pictures…

They are never labeled, nor are they removed from his private rooms. Some are sketches drawn with charcoal but his best are on canvas. His brushes glide effortlessly over the fabric, and he splashes colour on seemingly at random, yet the portrait is always perfect.

Always of a man with amethysts for eyes.

I do not know this man. I only know of him.

Tsuzuki Asato-domo.

The Demon Lord.

X

I am awoken at dawn and ordered to dress. I immediately reach for my 'work clothes', made from soft silks and net. Oriya stops me, however, handing me a somber black kimono made from a heavy, rough linen. I blink at it. Is this something new?

"Muraki-sama is going to the court of Tsuzuki-domo. You are to accompany him," is all Oriya says. He then leaves me to struggle with the kimono. I've never put one on before. When he returns I'm panicking, unable to put the damn thing on properly. I also have a sneaking suspicion that this is a woman's robe…

"Here," Oriya undid my hopeless butterfly knots and retied them, straightening everything up. I felt like a child but Oriya said nothing, glancing around the room I shared with eleven other… whores? No, they don't get paid…

"Why am I dressed like this, Oriya-san?" I asked, carefully hiding the tremor in my voice. I _hate_ doing new things. Not only do I harbour the secret fear that it will be worse still from what has already happened before, but I also worry about doing it wrong and being beaten or killed.

"You will be traveling with Muraki-domo," Oriya replied. I tried my best not to look a little afraid. To be fair, I never expected Muraki to trust me enough to take me anywhere. My escape attempts are notorious. I am too embarrassed to describe how many times I've tried to escape… The fact I haven't yet is painful enough…

"May I ask-" I began but Oriya gave me a look.

"No, no you may not. Truth is, kiddo, I don't rightly know anything myself. All I was told was to get you and make you decent for traveling with a Lord…. And to dress you up as a woman," Oriya was chuckling at my red cheeks. So I was right, this was a woman's kimono… I felt myself getting angry… I fly off the handle too easily…

"My lord will be traveling with you. He wants it so. You will dress as a woman until you reach your destination where you will dress as instructed. I'd take your best clothes in this pack… and, you know, everything" He gestured to various other things. Oriya, despite being the master of a harem, hated referring to things such as sex toys, make-up or jewelry. He was too proud for that, so he would just blush and point. Kind of cute really, now I think about it… He's really trying to be quite masculine…

Only it doesn't work when you're trying to get into Muraki's pants if you try to act macho…

Maybe he'd have more luck if he looked like me or wore make-up?

…

Or I guess if he had amethyst eyes…

X

My first day traveling with Muraki-domo was… different. The first problem had been the fact I couldn't even try to escape. Muraki had told me to put on some gold bracelets, anklets and a choker. I had complied a bracelet on each wrist, anklet on each ankle, practically decapitating my head with the choker. Only after I'd gotten everything on did he tell me their purpose.

They stopped me from escaping. Gold manacles, as they were. Muraki had a similar necklace to my own with a little glass jar that contained what he had so tactfully put as 'body fluid'. Basic magic, he bound me to him with that and if he broke that jar, I'd die. If I tried to remove the jewelry on my own, the jar would break. Overall, death was pretty much the only way I'd escape, and I didn't fancy that.

I had enjoyed the scenery from where I was sat, in front of one of Muraki's warriors on his horse. He wasn't like the others, who whispered innuendos in my ear and tried to grope me. He just let me sit there, taking in the outside world with childlike ignorance.

After a while he started to explain to me what I was seeing. Rice field serfs, black smiths, villagers and then… the ocean…

"My god…" I breathed. It sparkled, dancing its violent dance, crashing against the cliffs and caressing the beaches. I wished I could jump from the horse and run down onto the shore.

"We are following the coast road for another three days," the warrior told me. I nodded, entranced by the ocean. Hypnotized, I barely registered the jeers aimed at me. The ocean was slowly seducing me.

"Do you like the sea, doll?" I heard. I looked away from the sea to the other side of the horse to see Muraki riding beside us. I wasn't sure what to reply. Would I ever see the ocean again?

"Yes, Muraki-domo. It is very beautiful," I replied. He seemed pleased with my answer. The sun was setting, turning the ocean blood red. I shivered I didn't like the omen.

"I am glad. We will be following the coast road for a further three days. We will reach Tsuzuki-sama's house at noon on the third day. Please make sure you are clean for that day" Muraki then returned to the front of the procession. At first I was outraged that he would call me unclean. I knew what he had been implying. I also knew he probably was right as well. I was too slender and physically weak to fight off a full-grown warrior.

"Don't worry, Kid If you sleep near me tonight you'll be okay," the warrior said. I nodded perhaps it would be best to spend my time near a guardian. Then again, perhaps it would be better to see if Muraki-domo wanted me?

I spent the rest of our journey that day watching the blood red ocean

X

The first night was spent in a small village called HajI. The villagers were poor seeming. Muraki demanded his soldiers were fed, although he did not include me in that The solder I had ridden double with all day, Reji, shared his salted fish and rice cakes with me

He explained that this was the last village within the Muraki Clan province. Beyond it was the plenteous Tsuzuki Clan lands. They had once been a demon lord's lands, lands from which mortals who strayed there did not return. Since Tsuzuki had taken them in his conquest against a particularly nasty demon, he had made it into a mortal province and claimed it in the name of his clan, transferring the capital from the family home in Nagano to Onimidori.

Reji continued to tell me about the demon wars, including some of the battles he had been in. He painted a picture in my imagination of ferocious beasts with bloodied muzzles and elongated limbs.

It contrasted with the beautiful paintings of Tsuzuki-domo I had already seen. Reji explained why this was, saying my curiosity matched that of a cat's. Perhaps it didn't help when I drank the bitter tea that soldiers carry and yelped as it scalded my tongue.

"Nekojita! That's what I'll call you!" Reji chuckled. Nekojita was a name for someone who cannot stand hot temperatures in food or drink. The literal translation into common tongue is 'Cat tongue'. This wasn't the last time I was to be called this…

"Okay, well, Lord Saiki, Tsuzuki-domo's father, married a beautiful succubus demon. Naturally, she was only bound to him through a life debt. To be fair, no one really knows what exactly Saiki did to get a demon to owe him a life debt" Reji's face was illuminated by a contained fire in one of the local farmer's barns. A group of other soldiers had joined us, obviously eager to hear Reji's stories also.

"She gave birth to a son, but to her, this was not acceptable. She attempted to destroy what she called an abomination. Of course, the previous Lord Tsuzuki stopped her. He raised the child as any other Lord's son. Tsuzuki-domo helped everyone in his father's household make the clan proud and powerful. He did his father's dirty work in the field of battle. He expanded the province, fought the demons and all the rest of it…" Reji's eyes were twinkling as he drew everyone further into the story. I was beginning to feel a little sleepy. I was sore from the riding and I felt slightly light headed from weariness and some of the sake Reji had let me try.

"The succubus saw how a demon's child was helping mortals and tried to take action against Tsuzuki-domo. No one knew what happened, but out of the entire Tsuzuki Clan, only the current Lord Tsuzuki Asato survived… He was lucky indeed… They say that he went crazy and killed everyone in the area, his mother, sister, father, aunts, uncles… No one knows the truth… Hey, kid? Kid?"

I was already asleep…

X

"Ohayo Tatsumi-san!" Watari called. Tatsumi immediately cowered. He knew why Watari was here… Watari had been his subordinate now for ten years. Tatsumi had been chosen as an advisor to Tsuzuki-domo when he was twenty, and immediately he had been assigned an overactive sixteen year old to act as his assistant.

"Ohayo Watari-kun," Tatsumi replied with little enthusiasm. He then was greeted by a mass of blonde hair being shoved in his face and lips brushing against his own. He couldn't help but feel the quickening of his heart as he closed his eyes. Then he scolded himself, picturing Tsuzuki in his mind, the one he truly wanted. He sighed into the kiss.

_This_ was why he was uncomfortable around Watari. The man insisted that they were together, despite everyone else's dubious looks and the fact that Tatsumi was so obviously in love with Tsuzuki still. Yet, Watari didn't give up, stubbornly whoring himself off to someone who always turned the lights off when they slept together and even occasionally said the wrong name.

"What do we have to do today?" Watari asked, pulling away suddenly. Tatsumi blinked. Only Watari had the ability to completely throw him.

"We are preparing for Muraki-domo's visit. Tsuzuki wants everything perfect. You know how he feels he must show off to the other lords," Tatsumi explained. Watari nodded. Tsuzuki had never been fully accepted as a lord because of his bloodline. Watari knew exactly how that felt.

His parents had been gaijin, who had taken refuge in Tsuzuki's court. Their medicine and science had been welcomed. Watari had been ridiculed when they were younger for his blonde hair and blue eyes… Bullied because he was different…

Then he had met Tsuzuki, the two had immediately clicked and had become good friends. Watari managed to move into the elite circles, making lots of new friends who didn't laugh at him for taking a runt of an owl around with him, named 003, and who didn't even consider him a gaijin as he spoke the language perfectly.

Then he had been assigned to work with Tatsumi, and his dreams had come true… He might have harbored a tiny crush for Tatsumi whilst growing up. The calm, collected man was always by Tsuzuki's side, organizing things so they ran smoothly. Watari had admired him greatly. It was probably why Watari was so hopelessly in love with him now…

Not that he'd admit that to Tatsumi. He'd rather pretend that it was just a fun fling, that it didn't hurt when Tatsumi called out to someone else while they were making love, that when he dreamed of Tsuzuki, it didn't make Watari cry the next day, that everything was fine. Everything was happy.

Inside, Watari was falling apart.

"I don't like the way things are going with Muraki. He's too interested in Tsuzuki-san… It's not wrong, to be in love with a man," Watari quickly said at Tatsumi's sharp look. "But it is wrong when we consider that this is Muraki... I hear he has a harem. Most lords got rid of harems over two hundred years ago!" Watari was now rambling, and he knew it. It was common that he would do this when around Tatsumi. He wasn't comfortable with the silence between the two of them, the fear that if Tatsumi got the chance to speak he'd call off their non-relationship scared Watari into fits of rambling ness.

Watari stopped himself then and there, seeing the glazed expression on Tatsumi's face. He sighed, then put on his usual genki attitude and smiled brightly, as though this question hadn't been torturing him for months.

"Ne, Tatsumi?" Watari then cleared his throat, gathering courage and then: "Do you still love Tsuzuki-san?" The blonde asked. Tatsumi choked on his tea, placing his calligraphy pen down and calmly facing Watari. Tatsumi knew better than to attempt to lie to the blonde. That owl of his was a shockproof lie detector and would alert him immediately.

"I do love him. I am not in love with him anymore. That hope died when his father did," Tatsumi said softly. Watari nodded, knowing that Tatsumi never talked about what happened that day. Only Tatsumi and Watari's adopted uncle, who they all jokingly called Kanoe-Kachou, knew the truth.

"I would be bad for him, I know it. I would make him remember that which he should have to forget. I want to-"

The door opened.

"News from Haji!" A messenger announced. The man looked between the Lord's two advisors and then he bowed. "Ah, gomen, did I interrupt something?"

"No, please continue to deliver your message," Tatsumi waved his hand vaguely. Watari pursed his lips he had been so close to discovering something then. So very close…

"Muraki has brought a gift for Tsuzuki-domo. A boy named, as far as we can tell, 'Doll'. They'll arrive by noon in two days time" the messenger said hurriedly. Tatsumi nodded but he felt the dread sweeping through him. He looked at Watari who had a similar look on his face.

Tsuzuki would not like the idea of a slave boy.

But if he refused, he would be declaring war against the Muraki Clan.

Oh, this was going to take some organizing.

X

The last few days passed in a whirl. The journey made me feel wonder and a sense of regret. I would never be able to see these lands as a free person, never would I be able to swim in the sea, climb trees, sit amongst the flowers and feel at peace.

Reji had become a close friend to me. Often he would talk to me, something I had not experienced since being in the harem. Not that the girls weren't good talkers, but their incessant chatter about bachelors, lords and sex… weren't exactly stimulating for the brain.

Reji however filled me in on history, love, general life. I enjoyed his stories and often I found myself to talking to him about some of my more humorous experiences.

Like when Lord Minase had been dragged down to the harem. Oriya had thought it was me, and I'd died my hair to fit in better. I laughed about it, mentioning how the Lord had found it highly amusing and insisted on playing practical jokes. Naturally, Muraki had humored the child. I thought he was an idiot perhaps I'm just jaded?

"Being in the harem isn't all bad then? Perhaps I'll join?" Reji chuckled. I know it was meant to be a joke. When I saw Reji's smiling face however, I just… shuddered to think of him even considering…

"Do not make jokes of things that you don't understand, Reji-san. There is more to the harem than enjoyment. You are not a person, just a body for them to use however they want. They abuse you, violate you in any way they can, just so they can get their twisted kicks," I knew my voice was trembling. I felt ashamed, I should not talk of such things to a man who knew nothing of the real life… the real life of a… of a… whore… That's what I really am, isn't it?

"Gomen nasai, Kurosaki-kun. I did not mean to cause offence," Reji said, his voice soft. I just nodded, not wanting to speak.

"Aa… I will tell you the story of the Butterfly God. I think it's a story that you would enjoy," Reji was acting as though nothing was wrong. I wanted to yell at him for being so insensitive, yet I would rather never speak of my servitude again.

"There was once a time when Gods walked the earth and humans were in servitude to them. They each had a preferred form that reflected their ways. The Goddess Leiko was a Dragon, from which all demons are descended. The God Kei was a tiger of amazing strength and wisdom they say that the Emperor on the main island is of his bloodline. There were scores of other gods and lines, hundreds of demi-gods and powerful beings around that time. Even so, few have survived the millennia… This story, however, is about one young, gentle god, named Ichiro…." I felt curiosity taking over as Reji's soothing voice calmed my anger.

"But Ichiro means first son! Why would a god be called that?" I asked. Reji smiled and I knew that, like all good storytellers he'd been expecting that question.

"Aa. Ichiro was the first god to be created within the age of mortals. Therefore, some believed him to be merely a Son of Gods. Others believed him to be a God in his own right. I know little of the philosophy behind Ichiro's godhood. His story is interesting even if he was merely a mortal" The warrior realized we were falling behind and started to spur his horse forward.

"Ichiro was supposedly so beautiful that he rivaled the beauty of nature itself. Many Gods were jealous of his form, a bright green butterfly. So small and fragile was his body that he was almost impossible to catch" They had caught up with the main body of the soldiers now, riding through the throng.

"Leiko was jealous however, as many men found Ichiro more beautiful. In her eyes it was against nature. This is why the way of the Dragon and the Way of the Tiger forbids those who follow their ways from engaging in homosexual acts," Reji explained. I nodded, I had heard of those monks. Generally they were extreme conservatives, stubborn and self-righteous. They believed that Leiko and Kei had come together and created the Emperor from their union…

"Anyhow, Leiko grew so jealous of Ichiro she ordered for men to capture him using a net with the power to contain the power of a God. The men searched out Ichiro, yet could not find him.

"In the end, Ichiro took pity on the men looking for him, not knowing their purpose. He turned himself over to them. They saw his beauty and it broke them. In all men there is a deep-rooted desire to possess beauty. They defiled Ichiro, and the God did not resist for fear of harming his beautiful wings. They then captured him in the net.

"Unable to escape, Ichiro decided that there was only one thing to do. For his freedom he became untouchable. He would never again have to suffer the cruelty of man's heart. He split himself into millions of tiny pieces and spread himself across the sky, where he is still watched over by this protector, Tsuki, the moon."

Reji was smiling now, his eyes twinkling as he leaned over my shoulder whispering the rest.

"The reason followers of the way of the Butterfly can have same sex marriages is because Ichiro took Tsuki as his lover. They were blessed with a daughter that we know as the North Star, Lindu. It is said that the Tsuzuki family-" Reji was stopped when I was pulled violently from the horse. I cried out as hands clamped around my waist, I could feel everyone's lust and dark emotions leaking through my barriers. There were too many….

"Oi! What the hell are you doing?" I heard Reji bellow. There were jeers and Muraki's chuckle. I suddenly felt cold all over. The thought that…. All these soldiers… All of them…

"Hisoka!" I heard Reji yell. "The Butterfly! Do not forget that you are-" I didn't hear the rest as the soldiers emotions made my brain go fuzzy. It was the last time I saw Reji for a long time.

X

I shivered, pulling the blankets closer around me. I had never felt more dirty or ashamed. Slowly I cried myself to exhaustion but I couldn't sleep. I was so afraid that one of them would return. I was bleeding, yet I couldn't look at my body without breaking down into dry sobs.

It was sunrise when they forced me to ride a horse, laughing at the fact I couldn't sit down.

X

Watari sighed. This report did not bode well. Villagers had reported that a group of soldiers had been spotted outside Luka, a full half day ahead of schedule. Then they'd been missing between Luka and Aori. They should have got there by mid-afternoon but they only arrived a little before nightfall. There had been some… interesting… reports of what they'd been doing…

"We can't inform Tsuzuki of this. He'll deny entry to Onimidori to Muraki. We don't need a war between the two provinces right now. Muraki is far too powerful," Tatsumi said, rubbing his temples. Watari whole-heartedly agreed. He may not have liked being friendly to Muraki, but to go to war with the half-crazed warmonger…

"The boy… We will be insulting Muraki by not taking him…" Watari said, glancing at Tatsumi, trying to get the man's attention by running hands through his golden hair.

"Aa. I know. Let's just see what Tsuzuki thinks…"

X

I sat, staring blankly ahead. My kimono was in tatters. I heard the men laughing from behind me. I was almost falling from my horse. I couldn't stop crying, although I didn't make a sound.

"Doll, what's the matter?" Some jeered. I ignored them, concentrating on steering my horse. It kept on trying to wander off, and it was taking all my strength to keep control of the damn thing.

"Reji was a fool to think he could keep you all to himself" _That_ was Oriya. I tried not to let out a sob. Reji had disappeared, no one had been sent to find. He'd been left behind.

"Kurosaki-kun, please do stop crying. It's exceptionally tedious" Then Oriya's voice dropped to a whisper. "And it only encourages them." He then spurred his horse ahead. I stopped crying out of sheer force of will.

I saw Oriya watching me for the rest of the journey, but he said nothing. No one touched me again that day.

X

My first view of Onimidori took my breath away. It backed onto a mountain range, a large grass plain stretching before it. The mountain behind the castle had a waterfall pouring from it, seeming going through the centre of the castle to feed the moat.

The building itself was a masterpiece. Tall, slender towers, carved from a strange pale green stone, was ornate and… beautiful…

"The residence of a Demon Lord," one of the men breathed. I shuddered, imagining a hoard of ferocious beasts living in such a wonderful castle.

We rode in awe, carefully studying every detail of the amazing building. A drawbridge lowered and two men on white horses rode out to meet us.

"We were not expecting you so soon, Muraki-domo," A blonde gaijin called. I blinked Certainly not what I expected from a fierce demon lord. A blonde genki man with a round, fluffy owl on his shoulder…

"Ah, Watari-san," Muraki bowed his head slightly to the blonde, then looked to the person beside him. "And Tatsumi-san as well. How pleasant of you to have ridden out to meet me. You shouldn't have bothered," Muraki said, his voice mocking. I stared at the two men, weighing them up.

They had the feel of two people who knew life was hard but met each day with a smile… Or at least a very well placed mask. They weren't perverted, or evil, or twisted, they were so different to everything I was used to…

"You're right, we probably shouldn't have," I heard Watari mutter. I hid a little bit of a snigger. I knew Muraki hadn't heard him and I immediately like Watari and Tatsumi. They generally weren't afraid of my lord.

"Tsuzuki-domo wasn't expecting you. He's on the beach," Tatsumi explained. I looked over the large field in the direction of the ocean. I could see it, sparkling.

"Kurosaki-kun, dismount from your horse," Muraki barked. I did as I was told, wincing at my saddle sores and other aches as I straightened out my kimono and bowed low, like a bent over old man.

"You are to come with me to see Tsuzuki-san. I trust Watari-san can make sure my soldiers are suitably housed," Muraki's voice dripped with mockery. I saw the gaijin's face briefly contort in disgust, but it was quickly hidden by a bow and a hasty retreat. The soldiers followed him.

"Walk in front of my horse, Kurosaki-kun. You do not need to be conscientious," Muraki's eyes were gleaming. He knew as well as I that if I was tempted to run, I would now. I drudged along before them, trying my best not to fall over in the idiot kimono.

I began to feel queasy. Who was this Tsuzuki Asato? Was he cruel? If Muraki liked him he was probably more twisted than sin.

I found soft sand beneath my bare feet, and I looked up, only to drown in a surprised pair of violet eyes.

X

I had been warned by Tatsumi that my gift from Muraki was a slave. I hadn't even considered I'd want one. One look at this boy however and I immediately saw why Muraki wanted the boy so badly.

He had the most amazing eyes, a green that made the jade walls of Onimidori seem dull. They were framed by a soft face of sandy bangs. He was so slender he looked feminine.

"Ah, Tsuzuki-sama, I am truly honored to meet you again" Oh yeah, Muraki's here… Right… I couldn't take my eyes of the boy I was watching him constantly. He had dropped to his knees, spreading himself on the floor as was required of someone of the lower class.

"Muraki-domo. I am pleased to meet you again, although I am slightly surprised at your audacity to arrive early," I replied icily. I didn't like Muraki I had heard too many rumors. However, I had to be polite, not matter how displeased I was.

"I'm sure I can make it up to you somehow, Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki's voice made me shudder. I caught the boy looking up at me, his eyes were haunted, his face looked slightly pinched.

"I do not think that will be necessary, Muraki-san…" I paused. Finally I snapped, gesturing to the boy.

"For Ichiro's sake, stand up. If everyone would stop throwing themselves onto the ground around me I wouldn't have to worry about stepping on people's fingers all the time," I tried to lighten the mood. The boy looked mortally afraid as he got to his feet, fidgeting and automatically wincing away from Muraki.

"As much as I adore small talk with you, Muraki-san, I have matters which need my attention, such as housing for my new… present…" I allowed myself a glare at Muraki. He chuckled.

"Ah, the Onimidori intelligence, no doubt you know precisely why Kurosaki Hisoka-kun is here?" Muraki was taking great joy in this. I nearly lost my temper. I was tired of playing games with this man. Once every few months he'd be here, trying to trick me into bed.

"Of course. I'd be glad to take him off your hands if you no longer need him. I'm sure he'll keep my bed warm much better than anyone else I can think of," I taunted. The boy suddenly looked horrified, he was practically shuddering.

"I am glad he is to your tastes Tsuzuki-san," Muraki smiled, hiding his anger badly. I just smiled back sweetly before moving towards the boy, circling my arms around his shoulders.

"Listen, kid, I need you to go and stand next to Tatsumi. Don't do or say anything, okay?" I instructed him. He nodded and stood next to Tatsumi, his eyes holding a strange mixture of childlike trust and fear.

"Muraki-domo! Muraki-domo!" Someone was galloping across the plain. As soon as the man was within range something flew through the air, landing on the ground before Hisoka.

The boy knelt down and picked up the object, calmly brushing the sand off as he handed it to Muraki.

"This is… This is the head of…" Muraki looked about to throw up, unusual for him. Hisoka choked back a sob himself.

"Satomi… This is the head of Satomi…" Muraki managed to splutter out. I frowned, I had never heard of that person before.

"The head of Satomi, Muraki-domo's tutor…" Hisoka explained. It was then that Muraki saw red, and he jumped onto his horse, galloping across the plains.

"Satomi-san…" Hisoka whispered from where he was still holding the head. He staggered forward, stripping off the black over robe to reveal a simple thin white robe underneath. He waded into the water, carefully lowering the head into the sea, washing off the blood.

"Tatsumi… He's…" I managed to choke out. Tatsumi sighed, also watching the boy.

"Aa. I know… Ne, Tsuzuki, you aren't thinking of…?" Tatsumi was looking alarmed and I felt bad for my thoughts. Yes, I had every intention of keeping him. I would give him his freedom though first, then I would win him over… Gods, he was beautiful…

"No. He will have his freedom Tat-" I stopped, pausing to chuckle. The boy had fallen over into the sea and was spluttering. He then found his feet, standing up. The robe had gone see through and it clung to his frame. I found myself staring as he turned an intricate tribal design was carved onto his chest.

I blinked. Those designs… They were the scars of the curse of imprisonment. They made sure that he belonged to the one whom had cast the other half of the curse. It was a nasty curse few had ever survived it for more than a few years. The caster often drained the cursed one's life and spiritual energy until they died, prolonging the life of that person.

Yet he looked so untouchable as he waded out from the sea, lifting his over robe to cover the head and keep it clean. Without hesitation he bowed to us and handed us the head.

"Muraki-domo… He will be wanting this when he returns…" Ah, his voice…. If there were anyone more perfect I would think they were a god themselves.

"Why don't we all go inside? Watari will have prepared some tea by now. Also, I heard that he was making anpan and I know how your sweet tooth won't last much longer without sugar, Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi said, light-heartedly giving me a push. I chuckled. Hisoka was watching us with wide eyes, as though we'd just done something horrific.

"Hisoka-san, would you like to come with us? I'm sure Watari will have prepared more than enough," I offered. He looked like he'd been kicked in the gut.

"I-I-I…" I began then just gave up trying to speak and nodded his head. I took the cloth-wrapped head from him and mounted my horse, noting that Tatsumi was doing the same I looked to Hisoka to see there was no other horse. I sighed.

"Hisoka-san, come here. I will help you up onto my horse," I told him. He nearly bolted like a startled deer he was so tense when I lifted him up. He was cold, shivering from the seawater.

"Tatsumi-san, when we get back, please get Hisoka a proper kimono. Whatever this flimsy piece of crap Muraki's given him is meant to be, it certainly wasn't created for a man," I said, putting my arms past Hisoka's waist to lead the horse. I immediately turned my senses over to the demon ones.

Demons see things on many planes of existence. There's the physical planes, planes one through four, that humans exist on. Planes five and six are the planes of magic and spirits. Plane seven is the afterlife, which none have seen.

I switched to the fifth plane. I detected a strong magical energy from Hisoka that was his own. Empathy… Oh dear god he must have suffered. There were two links coming off him going to another. It was most likely to Muraki. One was a gold chain, linking all his limbs to his neck and then stretching far across the plains. The other was a small stream of blood, his life force and magic being steadily drained. It was probably why he was so slight.

Even so, there seemed to be no end to his spiritual energy, he seemed to be constantly replacing it. Strange… It was almost demon-like in comparison…

But there was something else. Something I only caught a brief glimpse of it when Hisoka turned his head to look back at the ocean. On his temple, for a brief moment, I thought I saw a butterfly. But then it was gone, and all that was left was a scared face taking in my appearance as a demon…


	2. Chapter 2

**The Butterfly**

**Author's Notes: **_Part two of 'The Butterfly'. This is a gift fic for Lunajl. Loooong chapter… Thanks to my beta, Eternally Faithful. Okay, so let's get on with this… But first…_

_Someone said that the POVs were difficult to understand. Here's how the fic is. All first person POVs will be either Hisoka or Tsuzuki. Third person is everyone else, most likely Watari and Tatsumi interaction. This story is meant to be told as though Hisoka and Tsuzuki are telling the story, Watari and Tatsumi's POVs are never told in first person because of this._

_Someone also asked if I made up the religions and legends in this fiction… Well, yeah, I did. I mainly just took animals from the zodiac and thought about what their characters would be like. Hence you get Kei, Leiko, Ichiro, Tsuki etc. The rest of the stories either came from my imagination or were mixes from other myths or ideas…_

_Also, the 'mainland' is obviously a China-like place, so when I say 'Mainland style' that means Chinese. The vows that Hisoka makes are meant to sound like wedding vows. The 'Desert horse' is in fact an Arabian, one of the most powerful and best horses in the world._

_This is a re-post of Chapter 2... Went back and made a few corrections. Thanks to those who pointed them out!_

_Also, I am entering a competition that will mean that I won't be updating as steadily. I have to have three publishable chapters in less than a month so… Ja!_

Translations:

(1) "Good morning! How're you feeling 'Soka?"

(2) "Thank you very much (for your concern). I am well."

**Soundtrack:** _Cage by Dir en Grey (The Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki is Voyage by Ayumi Hamasaki)_

XXx

I stared into the face of a monster. Its eyes were glowing lilac, its teeth pointed, it's skin jet black. No sooner had I blinked however, was it Tsuzuki-domo again. I found myself wanting to question but not having enough courage.

"Gomen ne, Hisoka-kun, for startling you. Are you aware that you have immense spiritual power?" Tsuzuki asked. Tatsumi was riding quite close to us and didn't seem at all freaked out. It made me fearful. Was I really going to a court of demons?

"Yes. I am an empath. I can feel and sometimes see other people's emotions," I replied. I then realized how disrespectfully Id said that. I opened my mouth, words tumbling out about how disrespectful I'd been. I think I may have even suggested punishments for myself. The next thing I knew, I was having my hair ruffled.

"Aw! He's so cute! Tatsumi, can I keep him?" Tsuzuki pleaded. I blinked, unsure of what was going on. I saw Tatsumi's small smile though.

"No, Tsuzuki-san. If you want a pet there are plenty of free, able-bodied humanoids to take the position. Kurosaki-san may be 'cute' but he isn't a pet," The man lectured. I sensed a strange guilt coming from Tsuzuki and also disappointment. I was not even trying to process what Tatsumi had just said because I was too afraid of false hope.

"But he's the cutest little thing ever!" I didn't expect to be huggled then. It was strange to say the least. No one… had ever hugged me before… Held me down, picked me up, put a steering arm around my shoulders but never… held me…

"You're making him uncomfortable. Besides, did it ever occur to you that this new pet of yours could, in fact, be uninterested?" Tatsumi's voice was stern now, his eyes filled with a strange sorrow, no, regret, and a twinge of jealousy. Tsuzuki released me from his grip as we entered the castle. My eyes might have popped out of my head if it wasn't for the fact I had to close them from sudden fear.

In the centre of the central courtyard there was a hole. A hole so deep hat the bottom couldn't even be seen. We were riding too close to the edge, it would just take one misplaced hoof and…

"Once a year we release butterflies at the bottom of the well, there are passages through the basements of the castle… It's an offering to the Butterfly God. This was apparently the place where he was captured in the Dragon's Net. The hole, the jade mountains and this castle were created when he was destroyed," Tsuzuki offered. I glanced at the hole again. It was a believable story… I would have liked to have seen the offering…

Tsuzuki reined in his horse at the courtyard on the other side of the hole, dismounting and helping me down, hands gripping my waist firmly as I bobbed down. I knew my face was slightly flushed with fear and I bowed, as much to hide my blush as to show respect. Tatsumi barked at some servants and they took the horses away. Tatsumi then led the way around the side of the castle.

We entered the kitchens through the servants entrance. The smell of something wholesome wafted towards me. It was stew or something… Something that actually filled you up rather than the delicate, fancy finger foods of Muraki's court.

"Ayume-chan!" Tsuzuki called. A homely woman bustled forward. She wasn't plump, as I expected of a cook, but she had a 'no-nonsense' attitude that already had me quailing. Not only that but despite the fact she was no higher or larger than me, she had a presence larger than that of Tsuzuki-domo's.

"Tsuzuki! I swear! If you've just come to raid my kitchens-" She scolded. I knew the shock was written all over my face. How dare she speak to a lord as powerful as Tsuzuki-domo like that?

"Oh, this must be the poor babe Muraki gave you!" She saw me, forgetting all about Tsuzuki and not even acknowledging Tatsumi. I felt I'd walked into a mad house where everything was topsy turvy.

"He's all skin and bones! Didn't that evil sorcerer feed you, dear? No matter, you can have some tea and onigiri now. The nikujaga isn't ready yet," She mothered me. She cleared a table for us in the middle of the bustling kitchen and made us sit while she made tea.

"Ayume-chan still takes it upon herself to mother children," Tatsumi remarked. I felt myself swell up like a bullfrog.

"I am not a child! I'm sixteen!" I protested, then slapped a hand over my mouth. A cup of tea was placed before me but I was too horrified by my own insolence to even look at it.

"Well, you need feeding up Bon," The gaijin, Watari, said. I looked up at him and he winked, sitting opposite me and beside Tatsumi.

"What's your name, pet?" Ayume asked as she set a basket of onigiri on the table in front of us. I wanted some, seeing as I hadn't eaten properly in days, but I knew it was custom for those of higher status to eat first.

"Kurosaki Hisoka ma'am," I replied. She ruffled my hair, which annoyed me to no end.

"You hear that boys? At least someone around here treats me with respect!" She grumbled good-heartedly, grabbing a rice ball out of the basket and shoving it under my nose. I jerked back, blinking at the white, blurry shape.

"Open," She ordered. I felt my cheeks burn, there was no way on this planet that I was letting her feed me. I tried to take it from her but she shoved it up against my lips.

"Um…Ma'-" She had expertly wedged the onigiri in my mouth. I bit down and chewed before swallowing.

"I don't think he likes that," Watari commented, a smile on his face. They didn't stop Ayume though… If I hadn't known better I would have said that these three warriors were scared of her…

"Nonsense! I know his type! Believe they have to be all thin and beautiful so they starve themselves or throw up after they've eaten so they don't put on weight and are still desirable," Ayume informed them. I felt awful. They were talking about me as though I wasn't there.

Tsuzuki-domo however, offered me the basket. He took one first, so I did the same. I waited for him to take a bite before wolfing one down myself. I virtually inhaled three onigiri before even realizing what I was doing.

"See! He was just uncomfortable with you trying to stick a rice ball down his throat!" Tsuzuki said brightly. Ayume and he started to bicker like a married old couple. I found myself smiling, a true smile… And then…

"We'd better go to the reception rooms to meet Muraki. He'll be expecting you to be there," Tatsumi interrupted, draining his cup of tea and standing. Watari and Tsuzuki sighed, standing up and saying goodbye to Ayume-san. I bowed to her, earning a small smile from her and a quiet 'Ja ne.' As we walked through the corridors back to the main reception rooms my eyes kept on going to Tsuzuki-domo, who looked pale.

"I don't see why I have to pretend to like him. He's creepy and his eyes always seem to wander. I feel like he's undressing me with his eyes," Tsuzuki shuddered.

"Be thankful it isn't his hands," I replied, not meaning for anyone to hear. There was silence for a while then…

"Muraki is an oni, more so than even Tsuzuki. I swear that man has the blood of the Dragon in him…" Watari said, referring to the myth of the Butterfly… Of course, if these were followers of the way of the Butterfly then they would dislike the Dragon, creator of Demons…

"He is worse than the devil himself. He lets his obsessions rule his head. He pretends to the world he's an angel but his heart is black," I said. I immediately regretted my words. What if word got back to Muraki about how disrespectful I was? Even worse, I had been speaking out of turn. Before I could apologize however there was a clatter of hooves on stone. I realized we were in the courtyard, before us was the Well of the Butterfly.

I watched as Muraki dismounted and immediately dropped to my knees. The horse he had been riding also kneeled, frothing at the mouth. Its coat was soaked in sweat.

"I caught the messenger. Another case of the Assassins of Azuma. There seems to be no way to prevent the spread of those vermin across the land. I had to lame my horse to deal with the messenger," Muraki's voice dripped with distain. I looked at his horse, he'd half-killed it!

"My lord, may I stand?" I asked. Muraki looked at me, as though just realizing I was there, and his eyes took on the sadistic glint I was so used to. He opened his mouth to speak but was beaten to it by Tsuzuki.

"Of course Kurosaki-san" He said politely. I stood up and looked to the stables to the East. There was a water trough there, just against the wall facing me. I took one look at the kneeling horse and knew that no one would be able to coax the animal over to the trough, so I edged away from the conversation, where Muraki was still ranting about the 'Assassins of Azuma'.

Tatsumi and Watari were watching me as I got to the trough and began to try to move it. A horrible grating sound echoed through the courtyard, quite effectively ending conversation. I felt their eyes burning into my back but I continued to drag the trough. After another minute of struggling, my slender frame not used to heavy lifting, Watari came over to help. He smiled at me, winking as we positioned it by the horse's head.

I then moved over to the left side of the animal, getting my shoulder under it's head and guiding it to the water. It tiredly began to drink. I smiled in relief, gently patting it's nose.

"It's lame, doll, leave it," Muraki ordered. "It should be killed. It's only use now is as meat… Or maybe it's hide…" I felt defiance raging in me but I quashed it. I looked sadly at he horse and apologized silently to it. I felt as much a murderer as Muraki.

"No, Hisoka-san. If you wish to help this horse then it is a small indulgence. Go ahead," Tsuzuki smiled, those wonderful violet orbs were dancing… I nodded, smiling at him. He blushed a little, running his hands through his chocolate hair.

"Arigatou gozaimasu!" I said enthusiastically. The horse's breathing had slowed a little and I noted it had stopped drinking. I lowered its head back to the ground.

I looked around for spare cloth but saw none. I knew it had to be rubbed down, or the cooling sweat could give it pneumonia but… In the end, I slipped off my under-robe, quite aware that both Lords and two manservants were watching me. I began to rub the horse down regardless. When I got to its rump I paused. Here were great welds and gashes from where Muraki had whipped it… I dipped the under-robe into the trough and began to carefully clean the wounds. I ripped off bits of material to make bandages for those that I could, on it's back legs.

The horse whinnied and tried to lash out in alarm but was too tired. After a while it's protestations stopped, leaving me to carefully clean the wounds. When that was done to the best of my ability I discarded the makeshift towel and made my way to the horse's head again.

"Hey boy," I cooed, stroking his elegant neck. I recognized him as a desert horse from the west. One of the most beautiful and powerful animals in the world… Lamed by a sadistic and careless Lord…

"Come on boy, stand for me," I urged. There was a tired whinny and the horse got slowly to his feet. I heard Watari's delighted gasp of delight, Tatsumi's murmured approval and Tsuzuki's glee. However… Muraki's anger, hatred, jealousy overwhelmed it all… I didn't understand what I'd done… I'd saved him a very expensive horse…

"How? You were not allowed into the stables. As far as I know, you have no experience with horses whatsoever. Who was it? Which stable boy was it that taught you and what did you offer in exchange?" Muraki spat. I felt anger rise in me. How dare he suggest such things! I didn't ever allow anyone to use me that way. I hated sex. I looked into the horse's doe eyes, trying to calm myself.

"Reji-san taught me a little while we were traveling. He said I was a natural with horses," I replied. The next thing I felt was the ground. There was a stinging pain in my cheek as well. Muraki had back-handed me.

"Do not speak of that traitor or with that little respect!" Muraki was advancing on me. I felt fear flood me. What if he disgraced me in front of these people? Would I still be welcomed when they saw how dirty I was? Would they send me back with Muraki?

"T-Traitor?" I managed to choke out, trying to scramble back. Muraki's eyes darkened.

"Yes, Hisoka-kun. Traitor. He was a spy from the Way of the-" He caught himself. "An organization you've probably never heard of. He was trying to kidnap you," Muraki's poisonous words pierced me where it hurt most. Reji… He had whished to hurt me as well? Muraki was only three feet away from me now and I tried desperately to get away, my robe was falling open and I had nothing underneath. I fumbled with the ties trying to keep it together.

"Enough," Tsuzuki stepped in Muraki's path. The white-haired Lord looked surprised, Tsuzuki looked disgusted. They were standing almost nose to nose. "You will not damage my property. Hisoka belongs to me now," Tsuzuki's eyes flashed. I wasn't sure if I was scared or not, so I remained there, on the floor, shaking. Watari had rushed over to me and was checking my cheek. I pushed him away roughly.

"It's a bruise, Watari-san. I'll live with it," I said quietly. The gaijin shrugged and got to his feet, offering me a hand. I stared at it and then took it. Tsuzuki was still having a staring contest with Muraki.

"Come here doll. If Tsuzuki-san wishes for you to be his pet I better hand over the leash, ne?" Muraki's eyes were shining again, a smirk played at his lips. I knew that whatever was coming would be painful. Muraki only ever smiled when inflicting pain on others.

"Swear that you will honor, serve and obey, Tsuzuki-domo in everything and strive to accommodate all his needs?" Muraki's voice was so low, imposing, as though daring me. I swallowed thickly.

"I, Kurosaki Hisoka, swear that I will honor, serve and obey Tsuzuki Asato-sama in everything and strive to accommodate his every need," I replied, my voice monotonous. Muraki was trembling, his desire to inflict pain on me was reaching boiling point.

"Do you swear on your blood, Kurosaki Hisoka-kun?" Muraki asked. I nodded. Burning seared up my arms and chest, my robe flew open, the ties coming undone. Down my chest and arms blood was oozing out from unbroken skin. My arms were thrown out by an invisible force and my head snapped back. My mouth made a wide, noiseless scream, as my face contorted in pure agony. No sooner had it started though, had it ended and all that was left was the smeared blood and glowing red designs on my skin before they faded back to red painted ivory.

"What did you do?" Tsuzuki demanded but Muraki didn't answer his question.

"Do you, Tsuzuki Asato-domo, wish to protect and shelter Kurosaki Hisoka-kun? To have him serve you and house with you?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki looked about to say no but he gave a brief nod. The white haired sorcerer smiled.

"You, Hisoka-kun, are released from my services. You're lucky too. That cure would have killed you in three months. As it stands, it merely binds you to Tsuzuki through your blood. If you ever try to leave him, you'll be in pain so intense that you'll die from it. You must be his servant. You belong to him now the same as Onimidori, or his horses, or his robes," Muraki explained. I felt sick. Never free… I'd never be free as long as Muraki lived I'd be forced into this stupid servitude.

"But as a goodbye present, I'll let you keep the desert horse. Although he is lame and useless now. Seeing as you'll never have an opportunity to ride him anyway, I suppose it's fitting," He drawled. The three men from Onimidori looked horrified at this display of cruelty. I trembled.

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Muraki-san," I whispered. Then Muraki was calling to one of his men, all the sorcerer's warriors mounted their horses. He mentioned having to sort out Satomi's funeral… I felt strong arms wrap around me and I couldn't muster up the effort to open my eyes to see who it was.

"Let's get him into some clean clothes. There might be some women's or adolescents' clothes somewhere that fit him," Someone was saying. I was too weak to even respond.

XXx

I felt something soft against my cheek. I snuggled into it without thinking. Mmm… Soft and warm…

"Kurosaki-san?" I heard a voice ask. I blinked and looked up. I stared into amused amethyst eyes before sitting up quickly.

"Gomen nasai Tsuzuki-domo!" I squeaked. I had been snuggling into Tsuzuki's lap, which was currently covered in a silk mainland style kimono… Female mainland style…

"You've been asleep for six hours. It's sunset. How're you feeling?" Tsuzuki asked. I opened my mouth to say I was fine but the words caught in my throat. I wasn't fine. I didn't feel like I'd slept at all, I was hungry again, parched and my chest and arms were throbbing. I changed the subject.

"Did you stay with me the entire time?" I asked. Tsuzuki gestured to the surrounding bed. I choked. I was in Tsuzuki-domo's bedroom? In his bed? Surrounding me were various scrolls, all written in the pictures I'd seen Muraki write with. I felt a longing to know what these documents said, but a slave does not need to be able to read.

"I decided to work up here while you woke up. I didn't want you to panic or do something stupid," Tsuzuki said his eyes serious. I didn't quite comprehend. Like what could I do? Get up and start banging my head against the wall?

"I would have most likely tried to find my way to the kitchens," I replied, keeping my previous thoughts to myself. He chuckled, standing up.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," The Lord walked to the door, slid it open and closed it softly. I lay there, alone in a large bed, staring at the ceiling. I was used to a futon but this was a different kind of bed… It was raised off the floor, covered in silks… It was made for two but one side was pushed up against the wall. There was a ceiling on it, covered in rich red silk, embroidered with golden butterflies. It really was beautiful. There were 'walls' on the two narrow ends of the bed made of the same heavy red silk but the drapes at the side you climbed in from, the long side, were made from yellow net and could be tied back with red cords…. It was… a work of art…

The bed sheets were of the same silk, embroidered with the same butterflies, hemmed in orange net, cascading over the side of the bed like a waterfall of liquid gold. There were so many silk cushions that I was propped up to an almost sitting position.

Everything was so soft and beautiful…

"Gomen for the wait," Tsuzuki said, walking across the room. I looked up and saw him holding a tray. I felt my mouth fall open when he placed it on my lap, sitting on the edge of the bed. I stared at it, a dish of potato, rice and pork… Nikujaga… Was that what it was called? A cup of tea… A chunk of bread…

"What's wrong? Don't you like it? I could get Ayume to get you something else?" Tsuzuki offered. I blinked, surprised that I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe that a Lord would wait on his slaves, that two Lords could be so very different. Why was he being so kind to me?

"Arigatou, Tsuzuki-domo," I whispered before picking up the chopsticks. "Itadakimasu." I tried to be refined as I could. I also made sure to not get anything on the beautiful bed. I found myself half way through the meal and feeling slightly queasy. I pushed the tray away. What was wrong with me? I knew I was still hungry…

"It's okay. I asked Watari to look you over while you were asleep. He says you're malnourished and you shouldn't eat large portions or push yourself or you'll be sick. You should be fine in a few weeks, until then, relax, okay?" Tsuzuki was smiling. Relax? That's easy for him to say isn't it? He isn't the one completely out of place here. He knows what to expect from me but I have no idea how to read him at all…

"H-Hai… I-I guess I should go back to my bedroom. I'm sure you have lots to be getting on with Tsuzuki-sama," I began to slip out of bed. I became aware that I was wearing a comfortable cream, women's (again) yukata. It was warm for the cold spring nights. I blushed slightly, wondering if it was Tsuzuki who had dressed me in it… or cleaned away the blood…

"This is your bedroom, Hisoka-san," Tsuzuki said as though it was obvious. I think I sat there processing what he'd said for about ten minutes before it sank in.

"Mine?" I whispered. Tsuzuki looked worried again.

"Yes, but if you don't like it we could always change things. Like the colors of the silks and the furniture and everything…" He offered. I knew I was crying now. Why was he being so kind to me? Was this a new twisted mind game? Muraki used to do it sometimes, be kind and gentle before hurting me worse than he'd ever done before…

"Iie… I'm just overwhelmed by your kindness, my lord. No one has ever cared enough about me to do anything like this. You are truly a kind person, my lord," I whispered. He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. I bit my lip. Was that it? Would he expect me to show him my gratitude?

"It was the least I could do, Hisoka-san. After all, I was stupid enough to get pulled into Muraki's mind games. I should have freed you before he cursed you," Tsuzuki's voice sounded bitter. I felt a surge of emotion for the man. I recognized it as affection… I genuinely… actually… liked… this man?

"If you had freed me that curse would have killed me. At least if I'm here I can live. And life has already improved. You will make a much better Lord than Muraki," I said earnestly. Tsuzuki looked up at me, the sadness slightly lifted from his eyes. I didn't quite realize what I was doing but I'd put my hand on Tsuzuki's.

"You are respected by the people who serve you. Your servants are the greatest test for a judge of character. Those that serve you love you. It is an honor to serve a man such as you," I then felt my cheeks coloring. I had never complimented someone and actually meant it before… Tsuzuki smiled though and turned his hand, intertwining our fingers. I blinked, watching the twined fingers curiously. My hand, so pale, against the tan of Tsuzuki's… His palm was rough, a working man's hand, unlike Muraki's… I felt a strange feeling in my chest, like nervousness only nicer… I couldn't explain it…

"You must be tired. You should sleep, 'Soka-chan," He whispered. I lay back, taking time to think over that new nickname. I decided that if it was only Tsuzuki that used it, it was okay. He covered me over with silks, allowing me to be comfortable.

"Oyasumi. Have good dreams," Tsuzuki said, then kissed my forehead. I watched him leave. I stared at the ceiling of my bed and new it now would take me hours to get to sleep. I just wished my forehead would stop tingling…

XXx

Watari slid his arms around Tatsumi's waist from behind. The man didn't even pause in his work. The blonde sighed, before deciding to make it slightly harder to be ignored. He licked Tatsumi's neck before gently sucking on the man's earlobe. The older man cleared his throat.

"I still need to sort out the salaries for the infantry," Tatsumi informed him. Watari ignored this. They went through a similar ritual every evening. Watari began to undo Tatsumi's kimono.

"Tsuzuki-san could come in and find us," Tatsumi tried, referring to the only person the castle who didn't know of their relationship… Watari smirked, finally he'd managed to get the kimono undone. He slid fingers across Tatsumi's stomach, earning a shiver from the man.

"Isn't that exciting though, Tatsu-chan? Tsuzuki could walk in at any time and find us-" Watari was pulled into Tatsumi's lap, kissed forcefully and undressed. As usual, their sex was explosive, fast-paced and without any room for thought. Well, it would be if Tatsumi could just undo the damn knot that Watari's kimono was in…

Tatsumi undid the ribbon holding Watari's hair back, instead. It was something he always did, as though running his hands through Watari's silky hair was as great a pleasure as the act of sex itself.

It was then, with their robes pooled at their hips, that the door opened and they broke apart quickly. Tsuzuki stood, blinking, in the doorway. He looked shocked.

"Gomen ne!" He managed to get out eventually. Tatsumi was glaring at Watari as though the physician had planned it.

"It's alright Tsuzuki-san. I'm going to call it a night anyway. I'll see you both tomorrow," Watari excused himself. He began to scrape his hair back as he brushed past Tsuzuki. He heard Tatsumi call him and turned, cocking his head to one side, the ribbon in his mouth.

"Leave it down," Tatsumi said, looking steadily at his work. "I'll be round later." Watari felt happiness bubble in him. Tatsumi had quite clearly just chosen him over Tsuzuki! He felt like dancing.

"Aa. Okay. I better tidy up then!" Watari left the room before back-tracking and sticking his head around the door. "How's Bon?" This snapped Tsuzuki out of his trance.

"Oh, he woke up, ate, then went back to sleep," Tsuzuki replied. Watari's eyes narrowed playfully.

"You mean he didn't jump you for being so kind to him?" The blonde asked. Tsuzuki blushed as Tatsumi's head snapped up. There was a moment when he met Watari's eyes but quickly looked away. The physician felt the happiness ebbing away… He'd been chosen as a substitute… He felt like a whore…

"Don't bother tonight, Tatsumi-san. I'm tired. Tomorrow I will examine Hisoka-san. I'll check him over for certain illnesses and the like. Good night," Watari felt worse now, knowing he'd hurt Tatsumi-san but he also felt righteous. It was payback for all the times Tatsumi had said 'I love you' and not meant it.

XXx

I feel screwed up. Tatsumi… Watari… At it?

"How long have you been together?" I asked. Tatsumi looked up at me. It's been a while since I actually looked into Tatsumi's eyes… Ever since he'd rejected me… I still find it hard to show affection now… Except with Hisoka… There's just something about him…

"Oh, well, a year…" Tatsumi replied. I felt my stomach sink. A year? Since before… before… Tatsumi and I ever shared that night? When Tatsumi told me of other responsibilities he'd meant Watari… Watari had been the reason that Tatsumi had rejected me…

"Oh," I replied. What else was there to say? I watched as Tatsumi took a few steps towards me, lifting my chin, pushing his lips against mine. But this was wrong and I think we both knew it. I pushed him away. He looked at me with those cold blue eyes and said the words six months ago I would have killed for.

"I love you," He said with so much conviction. I just shook my head. It was wrong now. I'd moved on. I'd got over him. And Watari… He deserved the person he cared about…

"I'm sorry Tatsumi-san… You're just… too late… You have Watari-san," I tried. Tatsumi just looked shocked. He didn't seem to comprehend.

"So I have Watari-san, and you have Muraki's whore. Sounds fair. We both have substitutes," He said. I stared. I couldn't help it. This was Tatsumi-san… Acting bitter… Acting jealous… Acting… not like Tatsumi at all… It made me angry. Was Watari just a cheap fuck to him? Did none of my reasons about the death of my entire family mean anything to him? After all, it was guilt more than anything that kept us apart… And how dare he bring Hisoka into this? The poor kid had only been here a day!

"You are the one who has made a mess of his life. Don't take it out on Watari-san, Hisoka-san or me! I loved you but you pushed me away! Now you've pulled Watari in and he's fallen in love with you! Will you lose another good thing? Will you-" The door slid open. I turned to see Hisoka bowing low. The yukata had slipped off one shoulder and he hadn't bothered to pull it back up.

"Gomen, but I heard voices so I thought I could find someone to show me around. I can't sleep," Hisoka said softly. I looked at Tatsumi who at least had the good grace to look guilty. The boy didn't look like anyone's whore with his sleep mussed hair, robe several sizes too big for him and overly polite attitude. He continued blinking owlishly, his eyes still clouded with sleep.

"It would be best to sleep for now. This castle is not a place for wandering about in after nightfall. If you follow this passage down the stairs it'll take you to the entrance hall. Head to the back left room and you'll find the kitchen. Ayume-san will get you a sleeping draught or cup of tea," I said, but my eyes never left Tatsumi. He was squirming.

"I'll take him. As you said, this castle isn't for wandering about alone in," Tatsumi offered. I snorted and turned my back on him.

"I'll see you in the morning Kurosaki-san," I said and left the room.

XXx

I woke up in my glorious bed and stretched. I felt like a cat, happy and lazy. Somehow my servitude seemed less distressing when I had a master who I could claim actually felt something for those around him…

I hadn't heard what had been said last night, between Tatsumi and Tsuzuki, but I had a feeling it was something I perhaps shouldn't have interrupted. I felt that Tsuzuki was angry, but I wasn't sure if it was with me. I hoped it wasn't.

Even so, as I looked around my room, seeing it in the crisp morning sunlight, I found myself smiling. I got up, pulling the robe tighter around me again. It was a little too big and it smelled distinctly of wood but it didn't bother me. The scent wasn't exactly unpleasant and the sleeves could be rolled back.

I stood in the centre of the room. On the Eastern and Western walls there were windows, and I could see the sun had already been risen a few hours. The view from the Eastern window was of the plain before the castle, the sea glittering in the background. The other window appeared to have a view of a wall. On closer inspection I realized that it was, in fact, a rock face and as I grew closer I saw that it was actually looking out onto a beautiful waterfall, thundering down into a large lagoon. Maybe it was the jade in the mountains but the waterfall and pool below shone a beautiful aqua color. There were some girls in the pool, washing and splashing each other.

So that's where I could wash.

I looked around the room again, noticing beautiful oak or cherry wood chests for my clothes, a small table for serving tea, a desk for… well… I assume writing letters… In the far corner there was a smaller chest. I walked over to it, opening it to find all my old things that I had brought with me carefully put away inside.

I took each thing out, looking at it critically, wondering what someone in this House would think about it. The more… exotic… ones from the Desert Lands were probably enough to give Ayume a nosebleed…

I paused as I found a small cherry wood box hidden in my things. It had a butterfly laid into the top in mother-of-pearl, a beautiful scene painted around it of the night's sky. No doubt this was depicting the tale of the Butterfly God… I opened it, expecting it to be empty but I found myself gasping in delight. Several sharp notes came from the box, playing a tune I vaguely recognized…

"The song is the Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki. It's a popular song amongst women as it's all about true love. I see it didn't take you long to find it," I heard someone say from the doorway. I scrambled up, accidentally dropping the box as I rushed to greet whoever it was. I watched in horror as it thudded against the ground, the lid snapping shut.

"Aaah! Gomen ne! Gomen ne!" I cried, stooping to pick it up. However, the person got to it first, handing it up to me. I felt dread set it.

"Tsuzuki-domo!" I bowed, cradling the box. I was pretty sure that he was the owner of the pretty trinket and he would probably be mad at my clumsiness…

"Ohayo! Ikaga desu ka 'Soka-chan? (1)" He asked in a sing-song happy voice. I opened my mouth and shut it again. He wasn't mad? He was…

"Arigatou gozaimasu. Genki desu, (2)" I replied. He smiled, nodding and looking genuinely pleased that I was alright. I held out the box to him.

"This is yours, my lord?" I asked, watching his face as it lightened into a smile, so unlike everything I'd previously seen. But something didn't ring right about it… The smile, it was fake… I didn't appreciate the false cheer… Was it because he was angry at me or… Someone else? If so, what had I, or they, done?

"It isn't a man's kind of trinket," He replied offhandedly. I found myself folding my arms and… glaring…

"Ahem," I looked down at myself pointedly. Tsuzuki blushed, rushing to apologize.

"Sorry, sorry. It's easy to forget-" He tried but another pointed glare prevented him going any further with that one.

"You look very masculine, Hisoka," He said after a few more failed apologies. He said it with a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. I tried my hardest to look angry but I found myself smiling. No one had ever joked around with me before… Tsuzuki was being my first in so many ways…

"Would it be alright if I went to bathe in that pool I saw from that window? It's just that I kind of… smell of horse…" I said softly. I wanted to add 'And god knows what else' but I didn't think that Tsuzuki wanted to hear that…

"Uh, sure. You want me to escort you down?" Tsuzuki asked. I nodded, before turning my back on him, picking up a small satchel from the chest that contained all my various potions and soaps that I'd used in the harem. It was always important to be clean… I went to leave the room, expecting Tsuzuki to follow. When he didn't I turned around, tilting my head to one side.

"My lord?" I asked. Tsuzuki was blushing slightly.

"Don't you want a robe or something?" He asked. I blinked, then smiled.

"Why bother? The sun is warm today, I might as well sun myself on a rock. I can put this robe back on to return up to my room. It's not like I have anything you don't… At least I hope not?" I couldn't help but laugh a little at Tsuzuki's face, which had gone the color of a tomato. I'm not sure what it was that gave me this newfound confidence with the man… I felt like I didn't need to be respectful because he knew that I respected him already… The only time I felt afraid was when I felt I should repay his kindness…

"Would it be wrong of me to ask to wash with you?" Tsuzuki asked. Oh, that made me nervous too. I wasn't sure if Tsuzuki wanted me in that way or not… That made me unsure of where I stood…

"It is not my place to deny, my lord," I replied. There, that would get me out of answering properly! I was pleased with myself until we got to Tsuzuki's rooms (through ten minutes of corridors might I add… In silence too…) and he turned to me again.

"I'm not like Muraki, Hisoka. I'm not going to feel you up. I'm not going to even speak to you unless you want me to. You can tell me to go away if you want to be alone. You can tell me I'm too old for you. You can spit in my face if you want. I won't hurt you," Tsuzuki promised. I looked at my hands. Tsuzuki wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to…

"It's okay, Tsuzuki-san," I said, smiling at him. "You're a nice person. I don't mind talking with you, or bathing with you. And you aren't too old for me! I've seen lords that are over forty with brides as young as fourteen!" I exclaimed as I waited for him to get his soaps. He returned a few moments later and I noticed that he had a robe with him. I guess that not everyone is as comfortable with nudity as I was… Not that I'm preaching about the beauty of the human body or anything but… Harem boy… I pretty much have seen everything…

"I'm twenty-six, you're sixteen. That's ten years extra experience of the world. That's a big difference," He said. I felt slightly indignant at that statement.

"Yeah, I'm sure you've experienced loads more than me. Yeah, I'll bet you've tried to force off fifteen warriors twice your size, knowing you're going to fail and that if you do, you're going to be forced into humiliation. I'm sure that you've hidden in fear because you know that if someone finds you, you'll be beaten within an inch of your life. I'm sure you've watched as your closest friends have been killed one by one or as your parents decided that you were a monster and sold you as though you were worthless. I'm sure that you've been through a whole lot more than me in those ten years," I found myself saying bitterly. I knew there were tears in my eyes. It was like I had been waiting to tell someone this for years but never had the chance… A chance to spill my heart out to someone who actually cared…

"Hisoka…" He breathed.

"I'm sure you've been raped again and again because you still scream and beg them to stop. I'm sure you've been hated for no reason. I'm sure you've groveled and begged for your life. I'm sure you've cried yourself to sleep every night for three years just because you know that when you wake up it will be by a man roughly forcing himself on you. I'm sure you've got loads more experience," I found myself falling to my knees in the middle of the hallway. When had I become so weak? This was stupid… I sobbed into my hands, rubbing my eyes like a child but Tsuzuki's apologetic face soon swam in my vision.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you… I-I… Do you need to talk about it?" He asked. I swallowed the sticky saliva that always seems to get in your mouth when you cry… I wiped my eyes and stood, using the wall to support me.

"Mmm… Let's get to the baths. I… I need to get it together," I said. I intended to talk to Tsuzuki but I didn't want it to just come rushing out. As we walked through the halls I pieced together my life story, going through every sad little detail in my mind. Would Tsuzuki truly understand? Would he think less of me?

We came to the pool, and I watched as Tsuzuki set down his wash things on a rock near the water and began to undress. I found myself watching a little too intensely so I turned and emptied my satchel onto the ground, sorting through the various pots, deciding what I'd like to smell like today. I chose lavender… For some reason the color had been in my head since yesterday…

When I began to undress Tsuzuki was already immersed up to his waist in water. There were some girls still over by the waterfall, giggling and waving shyly, hiding their bodies in the water. I shook my head, slowly lowering myself into the water. It was freezing. I immediately felt all the hairs everywhere stand on end.

"Fuck! It's cold!" I hissed, much to Tsuzuki's amusement. He proceeded to grab my head and dunk me. I lost my footing, realizing that this pool got really deep, really fast and felt dread rising in me.

Why on Earth didn't I tell him I couldn't swim?

I flailed frantically under the water until I felt slender arms wrap around me. When I was pulled to the surface I found myself already glowing. One of the girls was towing me to the side, her breasts pressed against my back.

"Tsuzuki-sama! Don't drown the poor thing! She obviously can't swim… Say, is she going to be your wife?" The girl asked. I felt my feet touch the bottom and I turned to say thank you to her. She smiled and ruffled my hair.

"You're cute… In a boyish way…" She giggled. I heard Tsuzuki try to stifle his laughter.

"No, Hisoka-san isn't going to be my wife. To be honest I don't think he'd have me…" Tsuzuki said, looking mock-saddened. I folded my arms across my chest.

"I don't think it's a case of what I think anyway. I'm stuck with you whether I want to be or not," I said, reaching up to the rock where my soap was. I pulled it down, lathering it up in my hands before scrubbing the odd bits of dried blood off my arms and chest.

"KAAAAWWWWAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII! You two would be soooooo cute together! Cuter than Watari-san and Tatsumi-san!" The girl squealed. I raised my eyebrows. So those two were lovers? That would explain some of the deeper emotions I felt lying between the two… But I think that Tatsumi might be in denial or something… His feelings for Watari-san were deeply repressed and covered over with a fake love for another…

"Yeah. Right," Tsuzuki was also washing himself now. He looked sad, as though talking about Watari and Tatsumi troubled him for some reason. Interesting…

"Yeah! Bon, come here," She ordered. I was very aware that all of us were naked. I wasn't expecting to be in close contact with a girl like this. It was a little nerve wracking to be fair. I'd never… you know… with a girl… So I wasn't sure if I was attracted to them or not…

She grabbed my shoulders, pushing me into Tsuzuki. He nearly lost his balance, grasping my shoulders as I tumbled into him, my arms flailing. I ended up pressed up against him, my arms round his neck, his round my shoulders and my thigh pressed… against something I'd rather not think about.

"Oh, you two would be so cute together!" She squeaked but I pushed away from Tsuzuki violently, moving as far away as I could. He just looked into the water. The girl was still rambling on about 'cuteness' and various other things until…

"Tsubaki. Enough," Tsuzuki barked. I, meanwhile, decided to wash my hair, ignoring the fact my heart was beating double speed. Why was everything in my life so complicated? Why?

I scrubbed at my hair until it felt heavy with soap suds and then bent forward rubbing away all the lavender smelling foam. As I brought my head back up I noticed that Tsubaki and Tsuzuki were staring at me. I just stared back.

"He really is adorable! Let me play with him!" Tsubaki said but I was already getting out of the water. What was with that girl? She was crazy…

"I'm not a toy," I grumbled, finding my butter lotion and sitting down on a rock in the sun. It began to dry out my body, and soon my hair wasn't dripping great droplets of water everywhere.

"Oh, but you look like a porcelain doll! You've got such pale skin and those eyes are inhuman! Even your voice, it's soft but beautiful. You're a doll in every way!" Tsubaki said, as though she was saying something wonderful to me. I clenched my fists, trying to ignore the creeping sensation going through me.

"Don't call me that. I'm a person, not a plaything," My voice was low, warning her not to talk to me again. Tsuzuki must have sent her on her way because he soon left the water to sit beside me, wrapped in his robe. I picked up the butter lotion and placed it on the rock in front of me, getting some on my fingers before rubbing it into my arms.

"What's that?" Tsuzuki asked, picking up the small tub and sniffing it before placing it back down.

"Oh, it's a butter lotion that makes your skin softer… It smells nice…" I said, blushing slightly. Tsuzuki was still looking puzzled.

"How's it made?" He asked. I shrugged, smearing some onto my skin. One would think that it would be greasy, but it sank into my skin easily. The smell of lavender wafted towards Tsuzuki who was smiling.

"Why are you putting it on? It makes you seem more feminine… And who is going to be touching you so intimately that your skin needs to be so soft?" Tsuzuki's voice was teasing, and I couldn't help but dab some of it on his nose. He looked down at it, going cross-eyed and I laughed. He wiped it off with his sleeve and mock-glared at me… Which didn't work… It was like a puppy trying to look like a wolf…

"I don't want to smell like a girl," He said. I raised an eyebrow but continued to rub the lotion into my legs and torso. If I'd looked up I might have noticed the girls giggling or Tsuzuki practically drooling… I was lost in my own little world though.

"Ah! There you are! I thought I told you that I needed to look him over!" Watari appeared from the door to the castle. Most of the girls squealed and began to get out, covering themselves up. I wasn't quite sure what the big deal was… They hadn't done that for me and Tsuzuki.

"Heh…" Watari rubbed his neck. "Don't worry, I haven't got 003 with me today," He said. I frowned. 003?

"003 is a runt owl that Watari has. It's very fluffy and cute. The girls however think that Watari is a sorcerer of the West and that the owl is his familiar. It doesn't help that 003 is a bit of a skirt chaser. He is always trying to sit on the shoulder of pretty girls," Tsuzuki explained when he saw my puzzled look. Meanwhile, Watari had sat next to me and was sniffing the butter lotion.

"How did you make this? It smells great! I want some!" Watari said, handing the tub back to me. I sighed.

"I don't remember how it's made but I have another jar in my satchel. It's got a different scent, satsumas I think. You can have that one," I told him. He grinned and then lay down on the ground, looking up at the sky.

"Beautiful day, ne? How about going for a ride later?" He asked. Tsuzuki nodded enthusiastically but I remained silent, still massaging the lavender butter into my skin.

"Hisoka-san?" Watari prompted. I looked up and bit my lip.

"I still hurt from the last ride, Watari-san. Please excuse me from this excursion," I said softly. Tsuzuki smiled encouragingly at me and then scooped some of the butter onto his fingertips.

"Here, I'll do your back," He said. I immediately felt the heat rise to my face. Tsuzuki really liked to push the boundaries…

"U-um…" I managed to say before I felt strong hands on my back. My eyes closed and I suppressed a shiver. I kept on reminding myself that this wasn't Muraki; that Tsuzuki had promised never to hurt me… I breathed in the calming scent of lavender and calmed my nerves.

Tsuzuki's hands were carefully loosening the muscles in my back, which were hard as rocks thanks to bad beds for most of my life, riding a horse and various other problems I had. Not to mention the fact I'd strained most of my muscles yesterday dragging that 50 liter trough across the courtyard…

"Mmmm…" I head lolled forward as Tsuzuki massaged my shoulders. I was beginning to fall asleep. I don't know how he learned to be so good at that, slowly easing all the tension out of my muscles and then… I shuddered, my whole body trembling.

"Whoa… You really were stressed out…" Tsuzuki remarked. I sighed happily, falling back onto his lap, ignoring for the moment that I was his property and just enjoying being relaxed for a change.

"How did you learn…" I yawned. "To do that?"

"I went to the mainland a while ago. It's where I got a lot of my clothes, silks and trinkets. There was a lady in the town I was staying in who massaged people for money. Of course, she probably did more than that, but I got her to teach me a few things… At the time I was in charge of looking after my father and his muscles were always really tight from the armor and things he had to wear," Tsuzuki explained. I nodded, the sun was warming my skin nicely. I heard Watari and Tsuzuki talking for a while as I dozed, drifting in and out of consciousness. When I finally woke up Watari was soaking wet, dragging himself out of the water, fully clothed and Tsuzuki was in stitches, pointing and laughing.

"That wasn't funny," Watari pouted. Tsuzuki just carried on laughing. I had to admit, the look on Watari's face was pretty funny.

"Ah, Bon, you're awake. Lemme just check you over…" Watari rushed forward. For the next fifteen minutes I was prodded and poked, Watari seemed really interested in my stomach. He kept on going back to it.

"Bon…" He started. He was frowning. I tilted my head, slightly edgy about the fact his hand was on my stomach.

"This may seem a strange question but… Do you ever bleed? You know, monthly?" Watari asked. I blushed. What was he talking about? Was he talking about that woman thing? Of course I didn't…

"No," I replied. Instead of reassuring him though he started to poke my stomach, feeling across my abdomen.

"What about during sex? Anything strange?" He asked. I swallowed, how did he know everything? Why was he asking these questions?

"Muraki said that it was good that he didn't ever need to use lubricant," I whispered. Watari nodded, standing up.

"Bon, you have a very rare gift. I'm not sure how exactly it works, because it's obviously very different to a woman but I believe that you have the ability to have children. Your hips are slightly wider than that of another boy your age. Not that much wider though… You'll still have the problem of a child pushing up against your ribs but-" Watari was rambling on but I'd zoned out. The ability to have children? No way… No… All those times I'd bled… Had they been miscarriages? Had Muraki known and that was why I'd always be beaten? Was that why I had bled from…

"Watari, quiet," Tsuzuki said softly. I felt tears in my eyes. It made me hate Muraki more. He'd beaten children out of me, using the fact that I was ignorant to it to keep it a secret… Was that why the girls were always trying to get me to try their contraceptive potions?

"It's just a little too much to take in… May I… I want to go back to my room now," I whispered, slipping the robe I'd slept in back on, gathering my things together and fleeing into the castle. I got into my room and closed the door, breathing deeply. I dropped the satchel on the floor and flung myself on the bed.

I was crying for all the other murders Muraki had committed through me.

XXx

I woke up a few hours later having had cried myself out. It took me a while to realize why I'd woken up. Then it started, the stinging pain in my arms and chest. My back arched off the bed as I writhed in pain. What was going on?

I stumbled to my feet, looking around for some clothes. I picked up the first thing I saw, a green kimono. I didn't see any more details on it, just slipping it on and trying to stagger down the corridors. I wandered for what seemed like hours but must only have been about ten minutes. I had given up trying to walk and had sunk onto the ground; the pain had become so intense…

"Kurosaki-san?" I heard someone said. I looked up, aware that sweat was beading on my brow, I was shivering, I must have looked pathetic… It was Tatsumi-san… I made a feeble effort to say something but my mouth was dry and all that came out was a choked gasp of pain… I reached out my hand to him but ended up falling sideways as the pain grew more acute.

"Kurosaki-san! What's wrong with you? Were you attacked? There's no blood…" Tatsumi stooped down, glancing up and down my body searching for injuries. I tried to say something but my brain had shut down as well as my vocal chords… Everything was clouding over and pain was all there was…

"Tsuzuki…" I think that was me… Maybe…

"Of course! He's gone out riding with Watari! That baka. The curse…Can you sta- No, I don't think you can, can you? Looks like I'll be carrying you then…" Tatsumi put an arm around my waist and put my arm over his shoulders, supporting me. I couldn't even lift up my head to say thank you.

I was dying.

It hurt so much.

The world was falling away…

To the sound of screaming…

XXx

Tatsumi hadn't expected the kid to start screaming or struggling against him. Hisoka was thrashing and lashing out, great screams of agony coming from his mouth. The advisor nearly dropped him a number of times until they got to the courtyard.

"Saddle my horse!" Tatsumi ordered an idle stable boy. Said boy jumped up and started to saddle the horse, eyeing Hisoka suspiciously. The boy was whimpering now, and Tatsumi wasn't sure of that was a good sign or not. Either the pain was lessening or Hisoka was slowly slipping out of consciousness or even worse, into death.

"Here's your horse, sir," the boy said, handing Tatsumi the reins. The man nodded, then tried to figure out how to get Hisoka onto the horse. He settled with draping the boy over the horse's neck while jumping up and then cradling the boy in front of him, securing him when he took up the reins.

Tatsumi took off at full speed across the plains, hoping he'd find Tsuzuki along one of their favorite hunting trails. Perhaps the man would be at that spot on the beach where they liked to fish? Tatsumi only hoped that they hadn't decided to take the mountain trail…

The beach was deserted and Tatsumi reined in his horse quickly, heading in an almost U-turn round to the mountains beside the castle. Hisoka has lying on the horse limply now, only the odd moan or whimper escaping him…

"Tsu… ki…" He managed to get out. Tatsumi tried to ignore the poor boy's callings. He was probably only calling for Tsuzuki because he was the one that the kid knew best… Tatsumi knew there was more to it than that… It was a horrible awakening for him, when the previous night Tsuzuki had defended an almost complete stranger…

"Tsu… ki…"

Tatsumi looked up at the mountain path and then at the sun. If Tsuzuki and Watari had set out at noon they would only be a little way up the mountain at the sedate pace they usually rode at…

Tatsumi urged his horse up the steep hillside, trying to keep both himself and Hisoka safe while traveling at this high speed. Trees and boulders whipped past them, the wind rustling through his hair. He somehow just knew that Hisoka was in serious trouble…

He saw them, laughing and joking, letting their horses wander whichever way they wanted. Tatsumi called out to them and at the same time Hisoka slipped off the side of the horse. It reared, trying to avoid trampling him, throwing Tatsumi off it. He felt the rock hit his head and something wet falling down his face.

"Watari-san…" He called before darkness took him. At least he'd saved Hisoka for Tsuzuki…

XXx

"TATSUMI!" Watari and Tsuzuki called at the same time. They looked at each other and then yanked at their horses' reins, galloping over before dismounting. They rushed to Tatsumi's side, where there was blood slowly pooling around his head.

"Tatsumi? Tatsumi!" Watari was yelling, as though that was going to wake him up. Tsuzuki looked over at Tatsumi's horse, which was pacing up and down, looking nervous. He calmed it, then saw Hisoka on the road, he was lying there; still.

Tsuzuki ran forward, checking Hisoka over. What had happened? Why did the boy decide to come out to ride with them after all? Had he been trampled by the horses?

"Watari, Hisoka's here. Is he hurt too?" Tsuzuki called over. Watari seemed to snap out of a daze, running over to Hisoka and feeling the boy's neck. Watari nodded.

"He's alive," He confirmed before feeling the boy's torso, arms and legs and nodding again. "Nothing broken. We have to get them back to Onimidori this instant." Watari's eyes were burning with worry… He obviously didn't want Tatsumi to die thinking that he had hated him… Tsuzuki sympathized with that…

"Right," Tsuzuki picked Hisoka up and slung him over the horse. He then helped Watari get Tatsumi on his own horse, unfortunately the warrior had to be put on the horse arse-up. It was so undignified, but they had nothing to tie him to the saddle with, so Watari deemed it would be better for him to be alive and on the horse than dead and having not looked like a complete twit.

"Back to Onimidori?" Tsuzuki mounted his horse. Watari nodded, taking Tatsumi's horse's reins and then mounting his own, setting off at a trot back to the castle.

XXx

I woke up on horseback. The pain had gone. I opened my eyes and was met by a view of Onimidori… When had I left the walls?

"Hisoka?"

I jumped, it was Tsuzuki. I blinked up at him, before promptly slapping him across the face. He looked completely shocked as I burst into tears and ended up crying into his chest. He looked to Watari for help but the gaijin didn't seem to have anything to say.

"It h-hurt so bad…" I breathed. "I-I would h-have died! I-if Tatsumi-san hadn't f-found me!" I sobbed. Tsuzuki brought my face up to look at him as we entered the gates of the castle.

"What happened?" He demanded. I took a deep breath.

"I-I went upstairs and slept. I woke up and I was in so much p-pain. I staggered down the hallway and then Tatsumi found me and figured out it was the curse… I g-guess he must have figured out that it was M-Muraki's curse?" I stumbled over my words through the sudden trembling that was passing through my body. It really hadn't been my week…

"And Tatsumi has paid for his kindness…" Watari said quietly. I looked over at him and then saw there was a third horse, over it's rump Tatsumi was slung, his head bleeding. I cried out and immediately jumped off the horse, out of Tsuzuki's grasp.

"Bon!" He cried out but I was already at Tatsumi's horse. I don't know what I wanted to achieve but even so. This man had saved me. I really wanted to help him. I looked at his pale face and felt the tears threatening to overwhelm. I was only a burden…

I was worthless… I was nothing better than a whore… Why do these people do anything for me? Why should a great man like Tatsumi-san suffer because of some stupid curse? My life was worth so much less than his…

"Tatsumi-san…" I said, as though about to say something else. I just hung my head. "Arigatou… Gomen ne…" I whispered, touching his forehead. His eyes opened then and he smiled at me.

"It's alright, Kurosaki-san…" He coughed then… "Do you know when I'll get my sight back?"

I looked at Watari whose eyes had gone wide in shock. Tsuzuki was staring at me, no, not at me, through me… I could tell, I could see it in their eyes… They were blaming me…

I felt like running away from everything. It was all too much. Not only had I been given to someone, I'd also been put through so much already… The knowledge of my miscarriages, Tatsumi's vision, everything that had happened over the past week, it was all too much.

I wished I had never been born.

I sprinted, up the steps of the castle, through corridors and hallways until I reached a quiet room. I had no idea where I was. There were scrolls everywhere; some were collected together in albums. I didn't particularly notice much else before I sank to the floor, exhausted.

Perhaps if I wished hard enough, I could erase my existence?

XXx

"Watari… You think you can fix it?" I asked. Watari just stared numbly at the wall in front of him. I looked at my feet. His eyes were gone…

"Should I be able to see light and shadow?" Tatsumi asked suddenly. Watari's head shot up, as he rapidly replied.

"You can see light and shadow? Can you tell the difference between this-" He placed his hand just above Tatsumi's eyes. "-and this." He took the hand away. Tatsumi nodded, then winced as his head gave a nasty twinge. I looked at Watari. This was good news, right?

"You might not be totally blind… You might regain your sight over time…" Watari said, practically crying from joy. I felt the same. It would be a shame to retire Tatsumi because of blindness… But one couldn't have a warrior that couldn't see, nor an advisor who couldn't watch out for lies.

"That's good… I would like to see your face again, Watari-san," He said softly. I smiled at Watari's bittersweet laugh, as he took Tatsumi's hand and pressed it against his cheek.

"Are you still there Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi asked.

"Hai!" I answered.

"Kurosaki-san… He kept on calling out for you… Did he get to you in time?" He asked. I felt my heart give an uneasy twinge. I hadn't even looked for Hisoka after he'd taken off… I had barely even given it a moment's thought.

"He called for me?" I asked, surprised. Why would Hisoka call for me? It was quite clear that he spent time with me because I was his lord… Not the fact he liked me… Although I liked him, I liked him quite a bit… He was beautiful, spirited and appreciated the little things…

"All the way… I think he's quite taken with you," Tatsumi's voice was light but I heard the hidden message. He was giving permission. He was saying it was all right. It was okay if I wanted to be with Hisoka…

But was it okay by Hisoka?

I'd only known the boy a day and yet here I was, considering being with him… What if he didn't want it? What if all he wanted now was to be left alone?

"Go find him," Watari said softly. I stood up, dashing to the door.

"I'll be back later so don't get up to anything on the medic bed!" I said in a sing song voice. There was a deep chuckle from Tatsumi and an outraged cry from Watari as I dashed down the corridor. I needed to find Hisoka, now he could be in his room or…

There was the muffled sound of crying. I crept forward, it was the library. I pushed the door open a little, just enough to see the boy was huddled up on the floor in the middle, open in front of him was a book. He was sobbing over it.

"Why? Why was I born? Was it just to hurt others? Is that what I am? I'm a monster… I hate myself… I hate everything!" He pushed the book away from him, it slid across the floor and stopped at my feet. He saw me then, as I stooped to pick the book up. It was the Tales of the Butterfly God, or Book of Rules as all holy books were called.

"Do you hate me Hisoka?" I asked, closing the book and sitting down beside him. I kept my voice distant, but I knew my eyes betrayed me. He looked at me, those beautiful green eyes so full of pain and anguish and spat in my face.

"You're no better than him! You're just playing games with me to get what you want as well!" He yelled. I carefully wiped my cheek. He was really crying now, I didn't know what to do or say. Was he really comparing me to Muraki?

"'Soka-chan…" I began but his arm went to hit me. I caught it, holding onto it so he couldn't try to hit me again.

"Don't call me that!" He screamed. I nodded, hoping that by agreeing with him he'd calm down. It didn't work…

"You want to own me just in a different way! You're trying to manipulate me just as much as he is! Why else would you be giving me all of these things? Why would you dote on me so much if you weren't just trying to bed me?" He demanded. I sighed, catching his other hand as he tried to hit me again.

"Would you rather I let you live in the stable with the dogs?" I asked. He hung his head.

"Just kill me…" He replied. I sighed, looking at his bowed head sadly.

"Is that truly what you want? If it is, I will grant it…" I said, hating myself for it. Something so beautiful should not be killed. I knew I would hate myself for it forever if I killed him… But I would have no one else do it… Muraki had given his life to me…

"Is what I said true…? Are you just trying to manipulate me?" Hisoka asked. I let go of one of his hands and it fell to the floor with a thud. I put my hand under his chin, getting him to look up.

"I'm not trying to get you to bed me Hisoka. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just trying to… to make up for what happened to you and to give you everything you're worth…" I knew I was stumbling over my words. Hisoka was looking into my eyes, searching for something. I don't know what… Was he picking up on my emotions? He said he was an empath…

"You do want to bed me. You want to own me. I can sense it in you. You're just as possessive as Muraki," Hisoka accused. I bit down on my lip. How could I explain it to him? I didn't want him for sex, but I desired him… I wanted him to be mine but at the same time I respected him. I doubt he could understand that…

"Hisoka…" I began, but I knew before I'd even started that it was pointless to even try to talk to him. Instead I just slowly moved forward. He didn't pull away as I brushed my lips against his. I was surprised when he kissed back, just a gentle brush but enough…

"I understand… I think…" He whispered. I wasn't sure what to say… What happened now? This was moving too fast… Everything seemed to be happening at once…

"What do we…"

"We wait and see…" Hisoka said softly, carefully moving away from me. I allowed him his space, waiting to see what he'd say. "It's all a bit much for me right now… I understand how you feel… Give me time to figure out… how I feel… ne?" He asked. I nodded, before handing him back the book he'd been crying into before.

"Oh, I was just looking at the pictures," He said, trying to give it back. I frowned, and he obviously sensed my confusion.

"Do you really think Muraki taught his slaves how to read?" Hisoka asked. I tilted my head. He had a point really… Well, it was about time that Hisoka learned!

"Do you want me to read it to you?" I asked. Hisoka smiled at me and nodded, handing the book to me. I wondered if it would be too much to ask if I made to hold him while reading. Luckily he moved to sit in between my legs, the book open on his lap. I leaned against the bookcase, my head resting on his shoulder as I read to him.

"This is a tale of Ichiro the Butterfly God and his lover, Tsuki the Protector. Shortly after Ichiro became the stars in the sky, Tsuki found him, crying all alone. When Tsuki asked what was wrong, Ichiro replied 'All my beauty has gone. I am ugly and alone. I shall never walk upon the Earth again, nor fly among the trees. I shall remain here, hating everything until the day I die'," I read. Hisoka smelled lovely. The soft scent of lavender, mixed with the boy's own natural scent was going to my head. It was a scent that I could spend forever breathing in.

"Tsuki didn't believe that Ichiro was ugly. He thought that the defiled and destroyed form before him was the most beautiful and pure thing he'd seen. Ichiro's struggles had only enhanced his beauty… Tsuki did the only thing he could think of doing, he became a large orb in the sky, shielding the main body of Ichiro from the Dragon, who kept on trying to see Ichiro in his state…" I was idly fiddling with the spine of the book. I knew Hisoka was completely immersed already in the story of the butterfly… Perhaps he felt a connection with the tragic story of the God of my upbringing?

"When Ichiro realized that Tsuki was protecting him he knew that the other demi-god loved him dearly and found that he himself, returned the affection. Ichiro and Tsuki made love, and stars rained down upon the planet. Those who caught those stars were granted the power of great fertility. Even the men. These men became the wives of the greatest of Emperors and Lords, bearing them strong children," I knew that Hisoka was listening carefully now. This story dealt with the whole male pregnancy issue. Really, it was the only explanation for why some men had… that stuff… and some men didn't…

"And Ichiro and Tsuki's child, who was called Lindu -or Rindu seeing as most of us can't pronounce 'L' seeing as it's a sacred letter of the Gods- and she was the most beautiful thing either of them had seen. Lindu later married another woman, the daughter of Tsuki's greatest enemy, the Tiger whom had estranged himself from the Dragon when hearing of her cruelty. The story goes on then to describe Lindu's adventures with her wife and the son of the Dragon, who turned his back on his mother's cruel ways…" I closed the book, which roused Hisoka from his thoughts. He smiled up at me and got to his feet, dusting himself off and taking the book off me. He walked across the library gracefully and slid the book onto a shelf, having to stand on his tiptoes to reach the shelf.

I finally took in what he was wearing. It was certainly nothing I had given him. It looked like a normal kimono from the front, except at the back it only had a net back down to the waist, where a dragon had been expertly stitched on the back. It had been tailored to fit his frame, going slightly in before his thin hips and accenting the length of his legs and the color of his eyes.

"I'm sleepy. Let's go to bed," Hisoka said innocently, stretching. I sniggered.

"I thought we were taking it slow?" I teased. He blushed and whacked me across the back of the head.

"Hentai!" He accused, flouncing off. I had to jog to keep up with him as he walked through the corridors, obviously lost but not going to ask me for my help.

"Come on, don't have a hissy fit," I whined. He stopped then and poked me in the chest.

"I do not have 'hissy fits'," He replied. I smiled and kissed his forehead in a patronizing way.

"Of course not!" I chirped in an 'I know better' kind of voice. I heard his growl of frustration as he trailed behind me as I led him to his room.

xXx

**End Notes:**

_Hii-chan's personality will return to normal don't worry. He's just having a difficult time of it right now. You know, it's only been a day since he arrived and it's been quite a difficult one for him…_

_Muraki lovers don't worry, Muraki is a main character in this story and will be appearing again. (The next chapter in fact). I also want to thank those who left such amazing reviews because they really meant a lot to me. Through this fiction I feel like I have a chance to showcase my writing skills off, seeing as it has an ambitious plot. (I was certain I wouldn't be able to pull it off actually )_

_I have inserted a soundtrack at the top of the page too. That's a recommended listening thing. Or basically, if this WAS an anime, that's the kind of background music, it would have. Ayumi Hamasaki's Voyage was chosen as the Hymn because it has a music box opening and a pretty tune. I have no IDEA if it actually fit's the tale of Tsuki and Ichiro at all…_

_Oh and the butter lotion stuff… It really does exist. I have some It's really nice… It's all squishy!_

And one more thing (man, my author's notes are getting far too long…) everyone check out the mochi scanlation site for some lovely yaoi/Shounen-ai love stories (especially Soshite Koi). AND everyone buy 'The Demon Ororon' because it's the best manga EVER! (Ororon is so cute!)


	3. Chapter 3

**The Butterfly**

**Author's Notes: **_Part three of 'The Butterfly'. This is a gift fic for Lunajl. Thank you for all your marvelous reviews… I really appreciate them. The Butterfly is quickly taking over my life. Everywhere I go I end up seeing things about Butterflies, much like Hisoka and Tsuzuki who are being surrounded by symbolism right now…_

_For example, for my research, I went to get a book on mythology and ended up with a story called The Soul of the Butterfly open on my lap. It was a very cute story that I might yet use in this fiction…_

_Also, you will notice that Hisoka is disgusted with the tanners and the woodsmen he comes across in this chapter. That is because of the Buddhist beliefs on life. Tanners take animals and kill them, woodsmen cut down trees. It's all about Buddhism…_

_Another thing, sorry for demonizing Hajime-chan… I actually quite like him but he has to play the villain in this chapter. Don't worry, sometimes Tsuzuki is the villain in the war between the two…_

**Soundtrack:**_ The World by Yuki Kajiura, Vanilla by Gackt_

xXx

I spent the next month happily settling into my new surroundings. After a while, everyone got into a routine, including me in tasks or counting on my help for things. I was only too willing to work hard, seeing as I felt that I should repay their kindness.

In the mornings I would always be woken up by Ayume, who would bring me some steamed rice and tea and usually stay to talk for a little while. She took to calling me her 'son', which I didn't mind much. Ayume may have only been Tsuzuki's age but she had that motherly disposition that made those around her submit to her smothering.

She would leave with the dirty dishes while I dressed. I would always dress modestly, usually in one of the ill-fitting kimonos that Tsuzuki had let me have. I knew he felt all possessive when I wore his clothes, but in a territorial way. It was like I was declaring to the world that I was his and his alone. I think he liked the idea, even though no one even knew that we were… sort of together…

However, even if we spent a lot of time together, Tsuzuki had never tried to kiss me again, he didn't even touch me to give me a pat on the back unless I smiled reassuringly at him.

Anyhow, Ayume left just as the rest of the castle began to stir and I would go to Watari and Tatsumi's office, although now Tatsumi was bed-bound due to his blindness. I helped Watari by keeping records in order and basically just doing as I was told. Mid-morning I would go and see Tatsumi.

Whereas Watari and Ayume gossiped and talked about things happening within the castle, Tatsumi taught me some history and politics. He taught me the basics of philosophy and, most importantly, he taught me how to form an opinion without sounding obnoxious. It was harder than it seemed…

At noon I would leave Tatsumi when his maid came to help him eat and I'd go to the kitchens with Watari and Tsuzuki. Often Tsuzuki would have been working all morning, sometimes he held audiences with some of the common people, farmers, fishermen, even the tanners and the woodsman…

Usually Tsuzuki would entertain me from then on. There were so many things I had to learn. He taught me some basics of reading and writing. In the last month I had managed to learn one hundred kanji and all their meanings. Tsuzuki had warned me that I would need to know at least one thousand eight hundred and fifty at least. That number seemed incomprehensible, seeing as each kanji had at least two meanings…

I was more confident in other areas however. The Desert horse I had saved from Muraki had grown strong again, and the stable master was going to run him with some mares next spring. He said that the foals would be magnificent animals.

The horse, whom I had named Kyuri (it means Cucumber… I liked the kanji and it had amused Tsuzuki greatly when I'd yelled at the horse once, calling it a 'useless cucumber'… The name had stuck…), was extremely high-spirited. At first it was too powerful for me to control and during my riding lessons with Tsuzuki it would often throw me off. It wasn't until I started to go to the stables and groom it myself that it started to grow calmer in my presence. My riding improved drastically, although when things got into a gallop I often freaked out and would always slow down to a trot.

Another thing that Tsuzuki decided I should know was the basics of combat. It was fairly easy to pick up. Muraki had taught all those in his harem some form of combat, as it amused him to pit us against each other. I'd been taught how to use a knife and spear as well as knowing the basics of using a katana…

At first I got my ass kicked pretty badly by the young soldiers Tsuzuki pitted against me. The practise swords were too heavy and they drained my strength too quickly. It was an effort to lift it…

I persevered however, and I practised as much as I could. Eventually I got to the point where I could at least hold my own against the warriors, who were quite a bit bigger than me. I was proud of my other skills though, with the spear and knife. Tsuzuki rarely fought me himself, but with the knives he had to. No one else was good enough…

He also tried to teach me archery, but both of us had disliked the idea. For a start, it meant that Tsuzuki had to put his arms around me to show me how to hold the bow. We both knew it was a test on his restraint and I showed no real aptitude for it.

We had discounted jujitsu and judo from the start. Somehow I couldn't see myself as a wrestler.

After my afternoon lessons, whether it was writing or swordplay, Tsuzuki and I would always go and bathe. It was therapeutic. I always took a robe now, and I took to grooming myself in my room. It wasn't that I didn't trust Tsuzuki, but I knew that if something were to happen… I wouldn't stop him… It scared me quite a bit…

I wasn't sure what I wanted. There was a strange dance going round and round in my head. Tsuzuki obviously desired me. I would often catch him watching me from afar, his eyes warm as though he was holding me with his gaze. Sometimes I liked this, other times it scared me.

I was pretty sure that he was falling in love with me. His emotions certainly read that way. I wasn't sure if I was falling for him though… I was so confused about my own emotions and I really didn't know what to do or say.

Things really came to a head during my fifth week at Onimidori. Tsuzuki and I were bathing, as we had done almost every day for weeks, when Tsubaki came over. I had been avoiding her because she'd taken to trying to kiss me over the past few days. It was unnerving to have a girl practically stalking me all over the place.

"Hii-chan!" She grabbed hold of my hand, apparently not caring that, well, I could pretty much see all of her in the water. She'd taken to bathing at sunset rather than with the rest of the girls in the morning simply to stalk me I think…

"Hello Tsubaki," I said tiredly, trying to turn away from her. Tsuzuki was watching us curiously. He didn't know of Tsubaki's weird stalker habits, it was only Watari who I had told about it. He'd promised to have a word with her about it but it had obviously slipped the gaijin's mind…

"Hii-chaaaaaaaaan! Watari says you don't want to court me anymore…" She whined. I paused from where I'd been splashing my face.

"What?" I demanded, glancing at Tsuzuki whose face had darkened considerably.

"I knew it wasn't true! Hii-chan will be mine forever!" she chirped. I snatched my arm away from her, trying to hide my anger. It probably wouldn't do me any good to act angry with her…

"I'm not yours Tsubaki. I never showed any interest in you whatsoever. You took it upon yourself to throw yourself at me. I told Watari to tell you to stop following me around," I said bluntly. She started crying, not the dainty tears you'd expect from such a pretty girl, but great wailing screams. I just looked to Tsuzuki for help. The Lord was already out of the water, putting on his robe and walking away. Oh no, was he mad with me? Had he got the wrong idea?

"Oh shut up you idiot girl!" I barked at her, getting out of the water and rushing to put my robe on to follow Tsuzuki.

"You're in love with Tsuzuki-sama aren't you?" she demanded. I turned to her, tying the robe securely around my waist.

"Tsuzuki-domo has been very kind to me and I owe him a great deal," I replied, purposefully avoiding her question. I think I was asking myself the same question in my head, trying to figure out if I was.

"I guess I can't compete against him…" Tsubaki said softly. I sighed, running hands through my damp hair.

"I'm sure there are hundreds of men far more worthy than I am who would beg for you to be their wife," I told her. She smiled then got her robes on as well, walking with me until we entered the castle halls. I turned to go but she put her hand on my arm, kissing me. We were about the same height, so it was fairly easy for her to just kiss me and run away. I just stood there, blinking before I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

"Well, you two looked cosy. You make a very good match," Tsuzuki said bitterly. I saw him, he'd obviously gotten dressed even though his hair was still wet. He was wearing a deep purple kimono, nice and simple.

"It was a very good show you put on as well, Hisoka. I almost would have believed that you didn't care about her. That little goodbye kiss gave it away though," Tsuzuki said, his voice flat. I growled, unable to believe that someone could be so stupid. Why did he have to assume everything?

"Baka," I hissed, walking away. I felt his hand grip my wrist, tightening almost painfully. I tried to pull my wrist away but he just used it to pull me towards him. I stared up at him defiantly, my heart pounding in my chest. I was slightly afraid but also a little excited by such intense jealousy.

"You belong to me," Tsuzuki's voice was deep, with a dark sound to it. I, however, wasn't hearing my Lord's voice, but rather Muraki's. That man had said that many times. I couldn't believe that Tsuzuki was saying it in such a way.

"You sound like him," I said flatly. Tsuzuki looked away, letting go of my hand. There was no doubt who 'he' was.

"I'm sorry. I just… I just want to protect you… When I think that you might leave or… you might want to spend time with others rather than me… I get so jealous… I know I shouldn't, you're a free spirit and you should be able to spend time with who you please but still…" he said. I nodded, standing on my tiptoes and hugging him.

"I know. I'm not going anywhere and I don't want to spend time with other people. Tsubaki just took to following me around. I asked Watari to talk to her but she's just crazy. I'm sorry if you thought I was interested in her, Tsuzuki-san," I apologised. I knew I really had nothing to apologise for but… I was still polite…

I drew away slowly, making the mistake of looking up into Tsuzuki's face. The moment our eyes locked I knew what was going to happen. It was almost like a force of nature… I knew we were both moving forward, my eyes fluttered closed. We were so close, mere millimetres. I could feel his breath on my lips. I then felt his lips push against my own. I sighed, my hands going to his collar.

I don't remember any conscious thought. It seemed to be all emotion, whether Tsuzuki's or mine I couldn't tell… I parted my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. It was… strangely satisfying… Like a parched man getting handed a canteen of water or someone with an addiction getting their fix… Except my addiction was a person…

"We shouldn't…" I managed to murmur when Tsuzuki pushed me up against a wall. He just grunted, moving to kiss my neck. It had never felt like this before… Each kiss and touch was lingering, passionate, without any ulterior motive other than to pleasure. I felt treasured.

"Hiso-" There was a pause as Tsuzuki drew away from me. I realised that my oversized kimono was hanging pretty much off my shoulders. I was breathing deeply, feeling slightly dazed and surprisingly happy. I saw that it was Watari, who looked fairly amused.

"I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Yes," Tsuzuki replied before grabbing my shoulders and trying to kiss me again. I struggled away, turning my face from side to side, chuckling as Tsuzuki kept missing.

"No! Tsuzuki! Baka!" I playfully hit against his back. He rolled his eyes and took a few steps away.

"Thanks Watari," he grumbled. The gaijin just smiled, before turning to me and holding out a butterfly.

"Sorry to disturb you over something rather trivial but… I thought you might be interested in this. It's a butterfly. It's been dead for quite a few years now, a bad winter killed off the species, but it's quite interesting. They say that when Ichiro exploded, it rained butterflies. Well, these were the butterflies that supposedly fell to the lands. The Emerald Wings," Watari held out his hand to display a beautifully preserved butterfly with a great pin stuck through its body.

"You don't believe in the stories?" Tsuzuki asked as I took the butterfly from Watari, carefully studying it. I removed the pin from its body, holding it close to my face to look at its brilliant green wings in the dying sunlight.

"Scientific reasoning makes me think that there has to be something else that created this world. For example, the apes on the mainland, their bone structures and actions…" As usual, I zoned out. I was too busy watching the butterfly…

A wing fluttered.

I jerked back, going cross-eyed as the butterfly landed on my nose. Tsuzuki gasped. Hadn't Watari said that it was dead?

"How? What in god's name?" Watari exclaimed, trying to catch the butterfly. I stepped back however, taking the butterfly in my hands. I could almost hear it singing in my head. It was the Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki.

"Here," I whispered to it, letting it go out of the door to the lagoon. It fluttered away.

"Hisoka… That thing was dead… It's been pinned up on Tatsumi's wall for three years at least," Watari said. I bit my lip, unable to explain what had happened… I had just felt so sorry for it and then… it had flown away…

"Maybe it was alive all that time?" I suggested. Even I knew that butterflies couldn't possibly live for that long… But it was the only logical explanation… I couldn't bring things back from the dead…

"Who cares?" Tsuzuki interjected. Watari looked about to protest, probably about to argue that it was an important issue of science. He shut up however when Tsuzuki gave him a very clear look that obviously meant that he should scamper.

I, however, was too busy thinking to have noticed anything passing between the two. When Watari began to wander off, I followed absently. I made my way to my room, sliding the door closed behind me only to have it opened immediately after.

"Oh, gomen, I didn't know you were following me," I apologised. Tsuzuki rolled his eyes and sighed. In the meantime I was undressing out of the robe I'd taken out of the bath and climbing into bed, stretching sleepily.

"Hisoka… Um…" Tsuzuki looked a little sheepish. I glanced over at him; he stood in the middle of the room, repetitively banging his fist against the palm of his left hand. It was a nervous habit I'd noticed that he'd picked up.

"Can we talk?" he asked. I had always thought that the question 'Can we talk?' was a stupid and pointless one. I mean, well, if we couldn't talk, then you've spoken anyway… And… Okay, I'm nervous, that's why I'm waffling. He wants to talk about the kiss and I don't.

"I'm kind of tired…" I said pointedly. He sighed, taking a few steps backwards.

"Aa… Right… Oyasumi," he said, turning to open the door. I found my mouth working before it even engaged my brain.

"Would you stay?"

Tsuzuki froze at the door. I stared at my hand, knowing that I really needed to clarify that statement.

"I have really bad nightmares sometimes… I just thought that… maybe you'd… maybe you'd make them go away if you stayed with me…" I stammered. Tsuzuki's shoulder's sagged, as though he'd been expecting me to say something destructive but I had said something quite nice really.

"You want me to sleep with you?" he asked, and when we both coloured he rephrased it. "You want me to sleep sleep with you. Not the… um… you know… Er yeah… Right…" he said, and I couldn't help but chuckle. I patted the bed beside me almost mockingly.

_Don't look now, Hisoka, you're developing a sense of humour._

"I don't know if I should… After what happened downstairs I might not-" He stopped when I pulled back the bedcovers for him to slip in beside me. It didn't even register that I was naked, I didn't believe that it mattered. Tsuzuki hesitantly removed his clothes, sliding into bed beside me and lying there like a board.

I felt strange. I was quite sure that I didn't want anything to happen, yet I was longing for him to reach out and touch me. In the end, I gave into my urges and laid my head on his shoulder. He loosened up a little, putting his arm around my shoulders. I wrapped an arm around his torso and breathed in deeply.

"I think I'll sleep better now," I murmured as sleep began to make my brain fuzzy and my mouth felt like it was stitched together. Oh, sleep would feel so good right now…

"Sweet dreams, my beautiful butterfly," Tsuzuki whispered. I snuggled in, probably grunting in response.

"Sweet dreams…"

xXx

I watched him sleeping. He truly is beautiful. I can understand why everyone desires him so… He frowned slightly; his dream was probably troubling him. I stroked his hair and he calmed almost instantly. A smile appeared on those soft lips and I resisted the urge to kiss them.

I slowly fell into sleep, feeling content that Hisoka had asked me to stay with him when he could have had anyone…

xXx

I awoke to a soft kiss. I opened my eyes to see Tsuzuki leaning over me, his eyes warm and loving. I smiled, before yawning, arching my back and stretching my arms as high above my head as I could get them.

"Mornin'," I said happily. I'd had a great night's sleep. I felt refreshed and all the problems and issues from yesterday had failed to register in my brain yet. I was still surrounded by the pink cotton wool that you have to struggle through to wake up each morning. I didn't want to wake up that much, however.

"Ohayo," Tsuzuki replied. I snuggled into his chest, breathing in the strange musky scent of Tsuzuki… Sort of like white musk…

"Hisoka here's your-" I heard someone say. I opened a bleary eye and saw Ayume standing at the door with a tray in hand, staring unashamedly. Tsuzuki chuckled and squeezed me against his side. I knew what this must look like to her, but I found myself caring less…

"Just leave it there Ayume-chan. Don't worry, I'll make sure he eats it. After all, Hisoka will need all his energy-"

"You just finish that sentence…" I threatened, my eyes narrowing. Tsuzuki had the good grace to look shifty eyed.

"'Soooookaaaaa-chan! You're so meeeeaaaaaan!" he whined. I just sat up, letting the silks pool in my lap as I looked around for something to put on. Ayume excused herself and left, allowing me the privilege of running around the room desperately trying to find something to wear.

"Just go naked," Tsuzuki suggested and after my pointed death glare of doom, shut up. Eventually I ended up wearing one of my old outfits, a pair of silk trousers that were tied at the ankle to make them… poof… out around my legs and a silk top with net sleeves that were more like lots of ribbons tied together at my wrists.

"Cute," Tsuzuki commented as he put on the same robes he had been wearing the day before. I wrinkled my nose up.

"You'll smell," I told him. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"I'll change for you then, my butterfly," he promised. I wrinkled up my nose, grabbing a comb and making my hair lie flat again. I offered it to Tsuzuki who just looked at it and then sat down. I nearly threw it at him but instead brushed through his hair. He leaned into the strokes and when I brought my hand round the front of his face to comb through the long bangs by his cheekbones he turned to kiss my hand. I felt the comb fall from nerveless fingers.

"Hisoka?" he said, turning and glancing at me. I just smiled, unsure how to react. He was acting so lovingly, like the kind of lovers from fairytales… It had made me feel strange… Did I want this fairytale with Tsuzuki?

Why was I questioning myself? What happened would happen…

But… Shouldn't I take control of my own destiny for once?

"Come on, 'Soka-chan, I promised the Emissary from Terazuma's Court an audience this morning. You may as well sit in with me from now on. After all, it's a fairly mundane thing, to see and discuss peace treaties and the like for hours and hours on end… I'll need something to distract me." He gave me an appreciative once over. I bowed, grinning.

"Glad I can please my lord's eye," I replied formally. He laughed and grabbed my in a headlock. I yelped, struggling and trying to get away. He dragged me down to Watari's office like that until Ayume caught him and barked at him to behave. I put my hands together as though in prayer and bowed to her, mouthing 'Arigatou'. She just rolled her eyes.

"Boys!" she exclaimed, walking away. Watari cackled.

"There wouldn't be any humans without them!" he called after her. She didn't grace that with a reply, deciding to take out her frustrations on a passing servant who nearly broke down in sobs under her scrutiny.

"She's an oni, she is, an oni," Tsuzuki said, pulling his cute face. I wrinkled my nose up and sat down in Watari's office. We talked for a while, and met Terazuma's ambassador, a strange beast man who Tsuzuki told me was called a Rougian, after the name of the supposed first of their kind.

The week passed without many more events. Tsuzuki would often try to cuddle me, usually as often as I would allow it. I revelled in the attention, often Watari would comment that I would purr. I knew that often I looked like a cat that was getting its tummy tickled.

I also tried three times as hard in my studies, often working until the moon was high to make sure that I learned at least five kanji a day and all their uses. I began to start trying to write simple letters and Tsuzuki said he was pleased with my progress, even though he often said that my writing was like that of a horse. I just shrugged it off, as long as I learned how to read, I didn't mind.

I found that I liked reading a lot, and often Tsuzuki would find me with a book from the library in my lap, a dictionary that Tsuzuki had compiled for me for the kanji I didn't know or wouldn't be learning from him beside me, pouring over books, eager to soak up the knowledge. He would sometimes read to me, mostly works of famous literature, such as the Tales of Genji, but also he would show me other things, like paintings by Sesshu that he owned.

But it wasn't just my mind that was expanding. My waistline had been getting quite a bit bigger, and where as my clothes from before still fit, they didn't hang off my frame anymore. I had some muscle tone as well, which I was very proud of.

It was during one of my training sessions that I came across an amazing discovery…

We'd decided to try archery again. It was only because I'd asked to do something different for a change…

"Once more… Ute!" Tsuzuki yelled. I let the arrow fly, it missed the target (naturally) and there was a hoarse bark of a deer. We looked at each other and ran into the undergrowth at a run.

"Did I hit it?" I asked when we came across the deer lying on the ground. It was a stupid question. Why would the deer have an arrow sticking out of its flank if it hadn't been me?

"I'll put it out of its misery," Tsuzuki said, drawing his sword and raising it, ready to remove the deer's head. I cried out, moving in front of him to stay his hand. The deer raised its proud head to look at me warily.

"Stay back, 'Soka. It may look docile but a stag's antlers are dangerous," Tsuzuki warned me. I still continued to step forward until I was close enough to kneel at its side. I reached out, only slightly touching the arrow. The animal kicked out in pain and sent me sprawling backwards, the air knocked out of me.

"Hisoka, it'll die anyway. We might as well take it back to-" I stopped Tsuzuki there. I reached out and yanked the arrow. I was lucky, I realised later, that the arrowhead remained attached to the wood, otherwise the deer would have been left with it in its flank.

I stared at the arrow for a moment, covered in blood, before tossing it away, watching as the deer shakily got to its feet. I moved forward, wary of its antlers. It tossed its head and snorted a little but didn't attack. I examined its flank carefully and gently put my hand on it. The animal calmed strangely, before letting out its ghostly bark.

Tsuzuki jumped, looking around him as many other deer called back. I held my breath, looking around me in awe as the thunder of hooves echoed from all around us. From every direction deer were running. I panicked, moving closer to Tsuzuki but not really knowing what the hell he could do if a stag charged at us.

They all stopped six feet from us, surrounding us in a circle. I frowned, looking back at the deer I'd helped. I gasped… Its side… It was healed… Completely sealed up… How?

I felt the confusion mounting. The deer, stags all of them, lowered their proud heads. I yelped, expecting them to charge, but they remained that way. Tsuzuki took a hesitant step forward but none of them moved.

"Are they…" I breathed. "Are they bowing to us?" It sounded ridiculous. In fact, it sounded more than ridiculous. I sounded like the mad men, the tanners and woodsmen that would preach about there only being one God who ruled everything… Like one man could do everything at once…

"I don't know… Let's get out of here… Slowly back away… Slowly…" Tsuzuki's voice was low and wary. I picked up on his panic and began to slowly make my way out of the circle. The deer parted for us and I felt a strange pang of delight in my heart. These animals were amazing!

"Arigatou gozaimasu," I whispered, bowing to them all before running after Tsuzuki who was already on the borders of the woods. There was a pause then the hollering of the deer erupted. I found myself on the edge of the woods, the hairs on the back of my neck going up.

"They're singing…" I whispered. Tsuzuki's eyes were wide.

"It's the Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki…" he gasped. We looked at each other and ran, only when we were back inside the castle was the ghostly sound of the Deer's Hymn drowned out by the hard, stone walls.

xXx

I was drinking tea with Ayume, but my mind was elsewhere. Tsuzuki was anxious about meeting the son of his enemy, Terazuma Hajime… Apparently they were about the same age… Hajime-sama had just married an old childhood friend of mine, Wakaba-chan. I was slightly torn now, seeing as from what I could gather from Tatsumi-san, Tsuzuki would actually have to kill Hajime if he ever took hold of the Terazuma's province…

"You're getting fat," Ayume said suddenly. I choked on my tea, looking at her indignantly.

"If I am it's because you force me to eat every grain of rice that's put in front of me!" I growled. She just smiled and poked me in the tummy. I knew I was pouting. Pouting, I've learned, isn't a very adult thing to do. However… It does get people to do what you want them to. Like apologise for calling you overweight.

"Don't even try it because it won't work. I'm a hard ass slave-driver and I won't be swayed by little boys who think they can do very good impressions of kicked puppies," she said sternly. I sighed, looking down at my slender hands. It seemed I was only putting weight on in my stomach… Trust me to turn into a pot-bellied piggy…

"Hisoka-kun?" Watari called. He walked in and grinned when he saw me.

"Tsuzuki wants you to greet Hajime-sama. He's a little anti-social so don't mind if he's mean. After all, you do live in the home of the man he's been brought up to despise…" Watari cautioned. I nodded and got to my feet, bowing to Ayume and making my way up to the main entrance hall.

I was only waiting a short period of time. Terazuma Hajime was a fairly imposing man. He was tall, well built and had an air of arrogance around him. He stank of horse and leather, but that was only to be expected of someone who had ridden from the Terazuma province, which was on the other side of Muraki's.

"Greetings. I am here on behalf of my lord, Tsuzuki-domo. I will lead you to him. Is there anything else you require?" I asked, bowing low and remaining that way. I saw Terazuma's boots directly in front of me and then felt my face being lifted.

"He dares to insult me? Tell him to come and greet me himself and not to send a woman in his place. Although it is perhaps fitting…" Terazuma drawled. The guards around him chuckled appreciatively. I kept my face impassive.

"I will do as you ask, my lord, however, I'd like to point out that I am a man," I bit down on my tongue. What was I doing? I should have just scurried away.

"A man? Can't be. A boy perhaps," Terazuma's smile was slightly vindictive. I straightened, fixing him directly in my gaze. It was pure insolence, and I knew it. No one should look a lord directly in the eyes, least of all someone who has nearly insulted him… Terazuma raised his hand but then caught himself.

"Heh, so Tsuzuki sends someone to goad me, eh? Go fetch him. Go on boy, scat," he ordered. I bowed and left, knowing Tsuzuki to be in the main entertaining room. He was sat at the far end with Tatsumi on one side and Watari on the other. Tatsumi had a blindfold across his eyes as they were too sensitive to light and dark. He still hadn't regained his sight and even though they didn't say it, Watari and Tsuzuki were giving up hope on him ever regaining his eyesight.

"Terazuma-sama's here. He's insulted you sent me to greet him and wants you to greet him yourself," I relayed. Tsuzuki sighed.

"Right. Wait here, Hisoka. In fact, sit next to Tatsumi. I want to make him feel like a fool when he sees you have an important place in the running of things," With that Tsuzuki had left. I sat next to Tatsumi and waited. No less than five minutes later, Tsuzuki led a disgruntled Terazuma and two warriors into the room. Terazuma saw me and sneered.

"Naturally, the boy is here. Why didn't I see that coming?" he said almost to himself. Tsuzuki sighed and sat down between Watari and Tatsumi, waiting for Terazuma to sit also before speaking.

"It has been a while since I last saw you, Hajime-san. I heard you were recently married. Is it a good match?" Tsuzuki asked politely. I could see Terazuma carefully evaluating the question, looking for any possible ulterior motives in it. His answer was guarded.

"Yes. Wakaba is a very good wife," he replied. There are no light words between enemies.

I now saw the pure youth and ignorance on Terazuma's part. He had admitted that he loved his wife, although he didn't realise it, and now she was probably a possible hostage. Hostages are common, where men will take sons, daughters or even wives from their enemies and take them into their own household in exchange for a peace treaty or some other demand. At least Wakaba would be treated better than most hostages if she came here… A lot better than Muraki's hostages…

"I have heard of her family. Very powerful on the main island. I hear that she's Minase Hijiri's cousin?" Tsuzuki asked. I tilted my head. I knew Hijiri… I wouldn't have guessed he was powerful though.

"Wakaba is the Emperor's niece. We have very good ties with the Emperor's nephew, Minase-domo also," Terazuma said, poison lacing his words. I understood what this was now. It was an immature flexing of muscles… It was like two peacocks raising their tail feathers to see who has the prettiest looking. It was pointless. Nothing good would come from it.

"Excuse me, Tsuzuki-domo, Hajime-sama… I have something else I must-"

"Denied," Tsuzuki deadpanned. I frowned and clenched my fists. Terazuma was smiling at me, but it wasn't reassuring.

"What's the matter, pretty boy? Uncomfortable in the presence of a real man?" Terazuma taunted. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that there was one in here." My voice was sharp. Terazuma obviously didn't know whether to laugh or be outraged. He seemed glad that he'd caused me to insult my own lord, but angered that I'd insulted him also.

"Careful," Tatsumi warned quietly. "If you show Tsuzuki-domo up in front of his enemies he'll not be pleased." I held my head up high.

"Tsuzuki-domo, I must leave this instant-"

"I told you Hisoka-"

"You will let Hana-chan give birth without anyone to help her?" I asked. He looked at me strangely then. I gazed back impassively.

"Hana-chan is due to give birth?" he asked. I nodded. She had been in labour when Ayume and I had been drinking tea. I was to be called during the later stages seeing as I'd delivered a few children during my time under Muraki. The only other person who had any experience was Ayume herself, and she was too busy.

As if on cue the door opened and a flustered looking maid walked in, dropping to her knees and trying to catch her breath.

"It's alright, Maya-chan. I'm coming to help now. Please return to Hana-chan and tell her that I will be right there. Until then make sure that she keeps breathing like I taught her to. Also give her that needle in her back. It'll numb some of the pain," I instructed, getting to my feet and dusting myself off. Maya backed out of the room and ran down the stairs. I pulled a small bag out of my sleeve, checking that the painkilling herbs were in there.

"Please Tsuzuki-domo. She'll die if I'm not there," I said. Tsuzuki's eyes softened and he nodded, allowing me to leave. Terazuma's eyes watched me as I left. I was at the door when he addressed me.

"It is unnatural for a man to be involved in birthing. You truly are a woman," he said. I did not turn to look at him.

"Iie. I just know what it is like to be treated like one," I replied. "You should look to women more often, Hajime-sama. You have made many mistakes since you arrived here that a woman would never have made. You've admitted weaknesses, shown open distaste and acted like a child. You should perhaps assess your own imperfections before picking out others."

Then I slid the door closed.

Oh hell…

What have I gone and said now?

xXx

Watari and Tsuzuki looked at each other after Hisoka's speech. It was certainly… enlightening…

"Will he be punished for the way he just spoke to me?" Terazuma demanded. Tsuzuki smiled sweetly.

"Nope. Not at all."

xXx

I smiled, exhausted. In my arms were two baby boys. Happy, healthy and crying. It had been a long birth and Hana-chan had fallen asleep. We'd been able to stop the bleeding but I doubted she'd be able to have any more children. Not that she'd need to, not with two sons for her husband.

"We should take them out to Yuki-san," Maya suggested. I nodded and took the children out to see the man who was looking very pale and worried outside. He looked up.

"They are safe? All of them? I mean, Hana and-" His eyes fell on the two bundles in my arms. He stared at them.

"Two sons. Your wife is sleeping, she had a rough time," I told him. He started to laugh hysterically and I smiled to Maya. It must be quite something… To be a parent.

"We'll name one after you Kurosaki-san! We will name one of them Sakaguchi Hisoka." He took one of them. I was overwhelmed and I stammered my thanks, completely unprepared for this show of kindliness. All I had done was help things along…

"In turn, I shall name my first son Yuki," I said softly. He just smiled, rushing in to see his wife. I felt so happy for them both.

"You can go now, Hisoka-san. We'll clean up the little ones and Hana-chan. You should rest, you worked hard," Maya then bustled away in a way that only women can do. I headed to the pool, stripping off I stepped into the water, washing away all the blood and sweat. I didn't care that I was dripping wet as I slipped my robe back on, not bothering to do it up, instead holding it together with one hand, the other held my sandals and socks.

I made my way upstairs. I found myself pausing at Tsuzuki's door. I had to check if he was angry with the way I treated Terazuma. I had heard horses leaving shortly after I'd gone down to see Hana-chan so I assumed that the meeting had gone down hill from when I left.

"Tsuzuki-sama?" I walked through the door and saw Tsuzuki sat at his desk, a candle lit to light up his writing. It was sunset so it was probably only lit so he wouldn't have to bother later on.

"Well done earlier, Hisoka. You really put Terazuma in his place. He should have treated everyone in this house respectfully; he did not, so he deserved what was said to him. Although perhaps you should have been more respectful to me," Tsuzuki said without even looking up. I blinked. I hadn't been expecting praise or a gentle chastisement.

"If that's all you came for, you can go now," Tsuzuki said. It wasn't said dismissively. It was an invitation to leave if I so wanted. I didn't want to.

I felt the stirrings of desire in the pit of my stomach. Tsuzuki looked so handsome in the dying sunlight, his chocolate hair lying messily around his face, his violet eyes studying the paper before him intently.

I placed my sandals and socks on the floor, walking over to stand behind Tsuzuki's chair. I let go of the robe, letting it fall open, the cloth gently brushing against my skin as I let it fall freely. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my chest against his back and resting my cheek against his shoulder, my lips brushing against his neck. He tensed immediately.

"Hisoka?" he breathed. I felt my courage failing and I knew that if I talked to him about this then I'd end up running away. Running away from something I was quite sure that I wanted…

"Hush," I told him. He stood up and turned around, I saw his eyes burning with desire as they ran up and down my body. I took a few steps towards him, gently pulling his face down to mine, claiming his lips fiercely. He quickly took control of the kiss, making it passionate, fiery, everything I had wanted and expected from Tsuzuki.

I began to undo the ties that held his kimono together, never breaking the kiss. He pushed me against his bed, which was in the middle of the room unlike in my own. It was pretty much the same. Except bigger. Much much bigger. I barely had time to think that before I was falling backwards onto it. I had a sudden panic attack, trying to get back in control of the situation.

Tsuzuki allowed me to move further onto the bed, and he lay beside me, rather than on top of me. I kissed him again, removing his kimono completely, allowing him to stroke up and down my stomach and hips. It felt so different to anything I'd felt before…

**www(dot)geocities(dot)com/nekokatechan666/butterflyl1(dot)html**

**Sex Scene is important to plot progression but due to guidelines has not been included in this chapter. Replace the (dot) with a full stop to get the lemon scene.**

"I love you," Tsuzuki said suddenly. I looked into those violet orbs and saw only truth. I felt tears in my eyes as an emotional overload threatened. I knew that I loved Tsuzuki now, only love would have let me accept a man's touch again.

"It felt right," I whispered. I seemed unable to say anything else. Tsuzuki didn't seem to mind, however, as he just took me into his arms and gently stroked my neck and shoulders. I felt the purr break out of me. Why was it that I literally did do that?

"So you like having your shoulders stroked, 'Soka-chan?" Tsuzuki asked. I nodded sleepily. Conversation seemed impossible because no sooner had Tsuzuki said something had I thought of something completely different to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't let you talk… I would have lost courage… Sorry if I… Creeped you out…" I apologised. Tsuzuki just chuckled and held me.

"I should wash," I said but Tsuzuki's grip on me tightened. He seemed to refuse to let me leave… I let him hold me, I felt far too comfortable in his arms not to.

"Oyasumi… Tsu… ki…" I whispered before falling into a deep sleep.

xXx

I watched him sleep, feeling his small body pressed against mine seemed like a dream. He was so beautiful… I entwined my fingers with his and kissed his forehead. How was I so lucky?

Hisoka lay there sleeping peacefully, looking as though he had dropped out of the heavens itself and I lay there watching him… fascinated.

"It felt right did it?" I whispered, wondering how such a simple phrase put everything into words. It felt right. Being with Hisoka felt right. Six weeks ago I hadn't even met him, but now I couldn't imagine life without him.

I'd rather die than be separated from him.

I then chuckled… He hadn't even managed to take off his kimono…

xXx

I awoke. It was still night. Silently, I slipped from the bed. Tsuzuki was snoring lightly. I watched him for a while, smiling. It was stupid, I knew… It was stupid to grow attached but I knew it was beyond my control. My feelings for Tsuzuki were complicated but he understood that…

Our lovemaking had been perfect…

I sighed, looking at my hands. I stood, silently creeping from the room and down the hall. I had an idea. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't. I had thought of it when I had been delivering Hana-chan's babies.

I crept into Tatsumi's room, shaking him awake. He grunted and sat up.

"Who's there and what do you want?" he asked. I chuckled. It wasn't like Tatsumi to be grouchy…

"It's me… Hisoka," I whispered. He raised his eyebrows.

"You stink of sex," he said bluntly. I blushed. I had forgotten that Tsuzuki hadn't let my wash. I ran a hand across my stomach to feel it peeling off in flakes. Nice…

"U-Um…" What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

"So, how is Tsuzuki then?" Tatsumi asked dryly. I coughed and held my hands out and then placed them over Tatsumi's eyes.

"Kurosaki?" Tatsumi began but he was silenced by a flaring white light. I found myself backing away quickly after that, before tripping over my own feet and falling to the ground. Tatsumi stood up and helped me to my feet. He was looking at me.

"What did you do?" Tatsumi demanded. I honestly didn't know. My legs gave way and I ended up draped over Tatsumi, which was the point that Watari came in to see what all the noise was about and several awkward moments passed.

"This isn't what it looks like," I said quite clearly. Tatsumi just blinked at Watari, seemingly dumbstruck. Two seconds later there was not just Watari but also Ayume and Tsuzuki who looked vaguely panicked…

"Ah, here you are Hisoka. Ayume said. She saw some weird bright lights that seemed like magic and- Wait a minute…" Tsuzuki seemed to have just processed the situation. I let go of Tatsumi immediately and my knees gave out immediately. I allowed myself to fall, landing in a heap like a puppet with its strings broken. I didn't comprehend much else after that…

xXx

"I-It wasn't what it looked like, was it?" I asked, hating myself for doing so. I wanted to trust Hisoka but… I guess I still had the mentality of many when it came to boys who slept with men… That anyone would do…

"Hisoka came into the room, woke me up, put his hands over my eyes and-" Tatsumi began but Watari had flared up like a bullfrog.

"I don't want to hear the dirty details, thanks!" he yelled. I then realised something. Tatsumi was looking at Watari. I looked at the unconscious Hisoka, and then scooped him up, staring at him in wonder.

"He healed you… Somehow, he healed you…" I said in wonderment. Tatsumi nodded and stroked the hair out of Hisoka's eyes. There was a moment's pause before Watari literally jumped Tatsumi. I chuckled, pulling out of the room and taking Hisoka back to my room. He didn't even stir as I laid him down and covered him.

xXx

The next few days passed like a dream. Tsuzuki and I spent as much time as was possible together. We'd spend time talking, riding together, sparring, reading… and making love. I was so happy. I couldn't believe that this fairytale had happened to me.

Watari and Tatsumi seemed genuinely happy for us. Even Ayume admitted that she thought it was 'cute'. It felt like we had the approval from everyone who mattered. I was so, so wrong…

It was two weeks since I went to Tsuzuki's room when news came that Muraki had turned up unannounced at the gates. I had made sure that I was as covered up as possible, opting for one of my new kimonos of fresh white silk. Not even Muraki could get through the layers upon layers of cloth before someone noticed what he was doing…

Tsuzuki asked me to await the two of them in the tea room. Tatsumi and Watari were fidgeting also, obviously just as nervous as I was at having to spend more than five minutes with the man.

Sure enough, a few moments later, Muraki appeared. Tsuzuki looked murderous already, no doubt there had been some banter on their meeting. I met Tsuzuki's eyes, pushing away my own uncertainties enough to give him a smile. Tsuzuki smiled back, but this wasn't missed by Muraki.

"You've been soft on him, allowing eye contact between the two of you," Muraki said, seating himself down opposite me. I averted my eyes, slightly surprised when Tsuzuki sat down next to me. He grabbed for my hand and I flushed slightly. For some reason, acting intimate with Tsuzuki in front of Muraki made me feel uneasy. I knew that this was some kind of territorial thing, but even so… It was tempting Muraki to do something…

"I have an important proposition for you, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki began as I served the tea. I was careful not to spill any, keeping my head bowed. If I could I'd stay invisible, that way he wouldn't do anything- Muraki grabbed my wrist, twisting my arm so I had to straighten to stop him from snapping it.

"Ah, and how is the little one?" he asked, sniffing my hair. I cringed at his touch and I could feel Tsuzuki's outrage from across the room. I tried to remain calm, even though I could feel my skin crawling. Muraki's hand slid across my abdomen.

"Getting fatter, aren't we? Well, I guess that is only to be expected," Muraki jeered. Watari clenched his fists.

"That's because we feed him here," he said, trying to sound polite. I could tell they were angry; after all, these people were like my family. I didn't want them to worry so I just decided to hang limply.

"No. It's because dear Hisoka-kun here was carrying my child when he came here," Muraki said, his voice a low purr. I froze, my eyes widened. No… No no no no no… That wasn't true… It wasn't… true… Muraki… No…

"Hisoka-san?" Simply by saying my name I knew that Tatsumi was asking me to confirm it. But how was I supposed to? I'd only just found out myself…

"Of course, that child will be a strong heir… I doubt I'll sire any others," Muraki chuckled wickedly. I started to struggle again, until his grip was right on the verge of breaking my arm.

"Let go of me! Let go of me! You're evil! I'll kill this child! I'll kill it!" I yelled. Muraki's smile changed to one of pure wickedness. With a swift action he sank a knife into my stomach. I panicked, feeling the hot blood seeping out onto the white of my robes. Tsuzuki had risen, about to draw his sword. I placed my hand on my abdomen, healing myself as quickly as I could.

I searched inside my for other signs of life to heal but there was nothing… Was the child… dead?

"Can you accept your decision now? You're a healer by nature, Hisoka-kun, although your powers were suppressed under my rule. Now you will live with the guilt of murdering your child," Muraki said calmly, sipping his tea, even though his hands were smeared with blood. I felt sick… I felt blood beginning to drip out from my ass. Oh god no… No… Muraki was right… I had just threatened to do it…

"You bastard!" I yelled but the pain in my abdomen prevented me from attacking him. I was rapidly staining my white kimono crimson with my own blood. I felt the tears of complete humiliation falling down my face.

"Now, the proposition I had for you, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki continued as though nothing had happened in between. I looked to Tsuzuki, to see that he wasn't even looking at me at all. I was in so much pain that my empathy had gone out of whack. I couldn't tell what he was thinking…

"We've been neighbours for a long time, and with our allies, we'd occupy all the land around the coasts to the north, east and south of the island. That would leave the only lands left, the three inland and western coast provinces that…" Muraki trailed off purposefully so Tsuzuki could finish his sentence.

"…belong to the Terazuma clan and their allies. It would box them in completely if we were to work together," Tsuzuki said, realising the benefits of being allies with Muraki. However, I was feeling even worse. Not only was I in pain, I had the horrible feeling that something terrible was about to happen. Something that was beyond the every day decisions… Something was wrong, something was happening that wasn't supposed to happen…

"I'm getting very lonely in my old age, Tsuzuki-san, and the bed gets awfully cold," Muraki lied. I knew he never spent the night alone. I was beginning to see what he was getting at however… Tsuzuki's face was set in stone; I couldn't tell if he'd caught on yet or not…

"If we marry, we can take the Terazuma lands, creating a powerful string of provinces that would give us the position to take over a good proportion of the island for ourselves," Muraki said. I felt my stomach twist with the sickening realisation of exactly what Muraki was planning. To use Terazuma as a carrot to get Tsuzuki to marry him? That was just sick… And Tsuzuki… he wasn't actually considering it was he?

"Marry? I thought that your religion forbid it?" Tsuzuki asked. Muraki's smile grew twisted.

"It does, but you are too beautiful to give up," Muraki said. Tsuzuki flinched and I tried to crawl towards him.

"It would be… an opportunity… I have your word that you would take over the Terazuma lands?" Tsuzuki asked. Muraki nodded.

"You'd have my word. Can I take this as a favourable reply?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki paused for a moment, looking over to Tatsumi, who looked pained before nodding.

"It is," Tsuzuki replied. I staggered to my feet, blood seeping down my legs. Tsuzuki looked up at me with apologetic eyes but I was already moving backwards. I couldn't believe it… On principle alone… If he loved me… He should have said no!

"How could you?" I demanded. "HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MAN IS CAPABLE OF! HE'S A MURDERING RAPING BASTARD!" I yelled. Tsuzuki's expression hardened.

"Hisoka, you are not of high enough birth to be married to me. I assumed that from your education here, you'd understand that. Politics and love do not go hand in hand. Marriage is a convenience. You'd do well to remember your place in the future," Tsuzuki's voice was strangely cold. I angrily wiped my tears away.

"My place, huh? As a whore…?" I asked. He flinched. "You tricked me! You're no better than him! In fact, you're worse! At least he was honest! I hate you! I hate you! You're a monster!" I turned and ran. It wasn't until I was in the courtyard that I realised exactly what I'd said. I felt disgusted. I couldn't stay here a moment longer.

I ran into the stables, snapping at the stable boy to saddle up Kyuri for me. I had no plan; I'd probably head west into Terazuma's domain. Maybe he'd give me sanctuary from Muraki and Tsuzuki… And I might be able to warn him about the attacks…

I was about to leave when I saw Tsubaki. She tilted her head to one side.

"Hisoka-san? Where are you going?" she asked. I laughed, a cold, bitter laugh.

"Away. Anywhere, just away. You want to come with me?" I asked. It was a whim, a stupid whim, but I knew that Tsubaki would take me up on the offer. She'd come with me and keep my company. Also, she might be able to help me get supplies and things along the way. Yes, it would work…

"I-I'll go with you but why are you leaving?" Tsubaki asked. I helped her onto the horse, sitting her in front of me before kicking it into a gallop.

"Tsuzuki is marrying Muraki and I'm not going to stay here just to be his concubine. I hate them. I hate them both," I hissed. She looked up at me with frightened eyes and then held on tight as I judged our direction by the dying sun.

Hours later I was in bad shape. I had forgotten about the curse and Kyuri had virtually been lamed again. I had to get off and walk her, but we'd ended up in woodland. I ended up collapsing in a clearing, Tsubaki fussing over me.

"Hisoka-san! This is the last of the water!" she squealed, pouring some into my mouth. I felt sick to my stomach, I'd broken out in a cold sweat and the bleeding from my anus still hadn't stopped.

"It's funny, I didn't expect to die like this," I laughed. It was surprising. Everything was suddenly so very funny. The way I'd been dealt such a shit life while the likes of Muraki have it made for them… How the righteous don't always win the battle and get their prince… No… I'd just die here with a squealing girl and my horse…

"Stop it! Don't talk like that!" Tsubaki yelled. I just laughed in her face, great hysterical belly laughs that only made the pain worse. I heard horses. Oh, this was just too funny. They were going to find me after all and drag me back to that hell…

"Hisoka!" It was Tsuzuki. Oh, this was good… A fog came down upon me and I remembered nothing much else after that…

xXx

"Hisoka!" I yelled. He was lying there, in that girl's arms. He looked awful and he was laughing insanely. I bent down, picking him up and holding him in my arms, trying to get him to look me in the eye.

"Let go of me Tsuki-kage! I don't want to be touched by the hands of a murdering half-demon like you! A lying, deceitful devil who would chose to hurt me! Did you really kill them by accident?" Hisoka was sneering. I couldn't believe it. I just felt so shocked. Who told Hisoka about my past? Who told him about when I accidentally killed my parents? Who told him about how I murdered them? I nearly drop him to the floor in my shock.

"What's the matter? Don't tell me that-" I can't take these words from him. I slap him across the face then stare at the red mark, not even realising what I'd done. It was Tatsumi who took Hisoka off me, but he screamed and spat like a cat. In the end, it was Tsubaki who knocked him out with a rock. I, meanwhile, had fallen to the ground, rocking backwards and forwards, trying to dispel the harsh words.

"Don't you find it strange?" Tatsumi said suddenly. I looked up at him, unsure what the hell he's going to tell me. What could be stranger than the last few months? Ever since 'Soka joined us things have gone from pleasantly normal to spiralling out of control…

"Whenever he gets emotional, or delirious or loses control… He doesn't call you by your name," Tatsumi said softly. I hadn't noticed that and I didn't particularly see the relevance. One nameless warrior was strapping Hisoka to his horse. That reminded me of Kyuri, who was looking pitiful…

"Tsuki-kage means Moon Shadow, right? Or is it Moon Light? Who cares right now, we have to get back to Onimidori… And I'll want to speak to Hisoka then, alone…" I stood, clucking my tongue and grabbing Kyuri's reins. The horse tiredly followed my lead and we headed back towards the beautiful castle that was Onimidori. I knew I was going home but it didn't feel that way…

Not when I knew that it wouldn't be Hisoka greeting my homecoming but Muraki…

**Ending Notes**: Poor Hisoka-san, ne? The next chapter is in the works. I also want to say that emerald-rei has some amazing art which I'm actually using in conjunction to this fiction. She's on deviant art, this is her gallery: emerald-rei(dot)deviantart(dot)com. This is her account: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/652199/

Her picture actually inspired the oriental feel of the fiction and also Hisoka's entire wardrobe. Her picture "Challenge Me" will actually be a direct reference at a later date. Please check out her art. She's amazing.


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